Death Cycle

Death Cycle

            It was not suppose to happen like this, but then again Shandra thought, wasn’t that what people always thought when something like this went wrong? That, that is not how it was suppose to happen.  She felt so lost, and she could tell by the look upon her friend’s faces, Erik, and Shawn that they were feeling the same thing. Kriss had always been a leader to them. They all looked up to him in one way or another, and now he was gone, who was prepared to step in and take his place? He had something special, something that could not be put into words, that they all lacked. What would happen with them now? Without Kriss, she felt they would all just drift away, float like astronauts in space with no gravity to pull them in.

            As she looked around at all the solemn faces, it seemed that just about the whole town was here. Not because they all necessarily loved Kriss, or even really knew him, though most of them knew his face and name, but because she knew they all felt their part in the guilt of what happened, the same as she did. There was no one to really point the finger at and blame, but they all felt their own weight of what happened, and she supposed each of them felt in some way more responsible then anyone else, at least that was how she felt, as if there was that one magic thing she could have done to stop it all, if only she had known, or been stronger or braver.

            People would tell her time and time again that it was not her fault, that there was nothing she could have done, that freak accidents like this just happened without rhyme or reason, and that in the end Kriss was the one who got the ball rolling and was solely responsible for his own actions. But would she really believe any of that? Would any of them?

            It had all started one sunny day in summer when school was out and the four of them, Kriss, Shandra, Erik, and Shawn were sitting around a tree in the park, passing a joint around and talking, when Kriss came up with this idea for some great experiment and true to his nature, as if by spell or enchantment, managed to captivate them all until they each agreed and were sucked in, seeing the same wonder in it as he did. Though later they would all have their own personal doubts, none of them dared to speak against Kriss not out of fear, but just because that sort of thing was not done, and they each had to admit even with their doubts, there was still an intrigue and a wanting to see it followed through.

            Kriss wanted to fake his own death, because he thought it would be a great experience, to live through his own funeral, he believed that was the best way to find out just what people thought of you, by who came and the things they said. He said it would be a rare opportunity that few people if any would ever have, but of course it had to look authentic and people had to believe it, because if they knew it was a stage they would not be nearly as honest, and so he was determined to make everyone believe he was dead.

It is not important just how he pulled off the technicalities of it, though it was quite a process, and perhaps none of it would have been made possible without the help of Steavy Hicks. Steavy went to school with them, and he his father was a mortician in town, a family business which dates back to the 1800s according to Steavy’s father. For the extra money Steavy would help out his dad. In part because of his father’s profession, and in part because of his general appearance and personality, or lack of one, he was a loner. Kriss and the others went to Steavy to enlist his help, though Kriss wanted to tell as few people as possible, to pull it all off they needed Steavy. At first he was reluctant to go in on it, he was worried about the ethics behind it and what would happen if they got caught, but he could not in the end, turn down the extra money Kriss offered to pay him, and perhaps even more enticing the chance to actually be a part of something and to be accepted in someway. It had turned out that Stevey’s dad had a convention to attend to and was leaving Steavy behind to run the mortuary.

We will begin our story with the funeral. Shandra, Erik, and Shawn were all seated together in the pew just across the aisle from Kriss’s parents. Shandra could not help but to steal a glance over to them now and then. They looked devastated and she did feel bad for them, though she knew it was not Kriss’s intent to hurt anyone, and she tried to reassure herself that it would only be temporary, it was still difficult to watch them. They were not bad people, and Kriss never had any real complaint against them. They had always been pleasant to the three of them, and to Shawn who knew Kriss the longest, and grew up with him they were like a second pair of parents. Shawn would scan around the church now and then, most of the people there he did not know a few he had seen now and then around the holidays. They were mainly cousins, aunts, uncles and other family that did not live around here, but came out of a sense of family obligation and to support Kriss’s parents. Kriss did not have any friends really beyond the three of them, but there were a few other people from school who would sometimes hang out in their group, and his teachers from this year.

Of course the three of them were each expected to speak, and they had to make it look authentic, but it felt strange to Shandra at least to stand up there in front of all those people and to speak such words of death when she knew the truth. She felt like a fraud, and a part of here wondered if it would not have been better to not know the truth, then to feel as if she was betraying something, and pulling the wool over all these people’s eyes. She barely even knew what she was saying it all was just a haze, and when she was done she was aware of people clapping as she gravitated toward her seat, and Shawn would go up next.

After everyone had spoken who had something to say, and the proceedings were over, people would get up and mill around, stopping by the coffin to pay their last respects. It was open casket, though Erik never had understood the point of having an open casket in general, and why anyone would want to visit a dead body, it was necessary for Kriss’s experiment in this case, for it was the only way it would work, for him to be a part of it. They waited until it was quieter before the three of them would approach. It was partly because it would have been expected of them and partly out of their own curiosity. It was strange Erik had to admit seeing him laying there all dressed up in a suit. "He really does look dead" Shawn said after making sure no one else was around and keeping his voice down.

After the ceremony was over and everyone had left to return to their homes, or hotels for those family members visiting form out of town, the plan was, that Kriss would slip out of the casket and lie low for a while giving people time for their emotions to settle down before he would make his reappearance and explain, and when it came time for the burial, the empty coffin would be buried with none the wiser. And that phase of the plan went just as it was intended to. It was the unexpected and unforeseen events that followed after that, which led to where we ended up and where things began to go wrong.

Shandra was awakened by the ringing of her phone. With a groan she opened her eyes and turned to look at the clock. 8o’clock, she had slept in but then she had no reason to wake up early with school out, so who could be calling now? She reached over and picked up the phone, "Hello" her groggy voice came and she was surprised to hear Shawn at the other end. "Hey, sorry if I woke you, but we have a problem." Shandra felt herself instantly become more alert as she pushed herself up to sit within the bed. Did something happen with Kriss? What could have gone wrong? "What do you mean? What happened?" There was a moment of silence before Shawn would come to speak again. "It is the Ganner’s. Mr. and Mrs. Ganner, now that they think Kriss is dead they decided to move in with some relatives that live in another state, the house is up for sale." Shandra sat in shock, she felt as if time froze around her for a moment. "Shit, ok, call Erik and we will meet at the park, we have to figure out something to do." After she heard Shawn’s consent she hung up and jumped out of bed and began to dress.  

It was not long before the three of them were gathered within the park in their usual meeting place. "We have no way to get in touch with Kriss, he did not tell us where he was going to be hiding out after the funeral was over" Shawn was talking. "But we have to do something. We cannot just let his parents move away to another state while he is gone." There would be momentary silence as they all just looked to one another; before Shandra would come to speak she knew what had to be done. "There is only one thing to do. We have to tell his parents. It is an emergency, and well he has already completed the experiment so it should not do any harm, and maybe it will be easier for him if they are already prepared when he comes back." Thoughtful silence fell among the group as they contemplated it, though none looked forward to the task of having to explain to Mr. and Mrs. Ganner; they had to take responsibility for their part in all this. "Alright let’s do it." Erik said, and they would make their way for the Ganner residence.

Shandra knocked upon the door and they stood and waited, it was not too long before Mrs. Ganner answered, she looked surprised at first to see them though not unhappy, she was always very kind to them. "I know you must be busy now, and this is probably not a good time, but there is something we have to tell you, it is important" Shandra would say. Mrs. Ganner looked confused and a bit concerned but she would nod her head slowly wondering what this was all about. "Alright, well please come in and make yourselves comfortable" She would step aside to let them in then close the door as they walked into the living room together and Shawn would take over now, as he knew them the longest he would take the initiative while Shandra and Erik took a seat upon the couch. "It would be best if Mr. Ganner was here as well, it is something you both should know, and it would be better if you both here it from us together. It is about Kriss." This would catch her attention as she wondered if they knew something about his death, Kriss had set it up to look like a suicide but his parents never understood what drove him to it, and she thought maybe they had an answer she would leave the room a moment before returning with her husband as they found a place to sit across from the others. "Yes what is it?" Mr. Ganner asked, though not unkindly. Shawn would take a breath as he had settled to sit between his friends now before he came to speak. "Kriss isn’t dead," and with that he explained to them everything that happened. "And when I saw that your house was for sale, we had to do something, we could not just let you leave and have Kriss come back to find you gone and so we agreed we needed to tell you." He finished and then just waited.

At first there was only silence and Mr. and Mrs. Ganner just sat there in stunned shock knowing not what to think or say. Shawn, Shandra, and Erik just gave them their time to absorb it and did not say anything, until Mrs. Ganner would be the first to break the spell and instantly erupted into hysterics, as her words all seemed to run together at once. What?Whereishe?Howcanhedothis?Whatwashethinking?Howdidhedoit?" She would then take a breath as she just fell silent when something seemed to suddenly dawn upon her, and she grained better control of her speech but her voice still fluctuated from high and low, it was clear despite her shock, that she was struggling between feelings of anger and relief. "It was that Hicks kid wasn’t it? That is how he did it. When I call that boys father and tell him what he had done"¦" Before she could finish Shandra would break in not wanting things to get too far. "Mrs. Garnner listen I know we are probably the last people you want to hear from just now, but just listen to me. I know you are upset, and you have every reason to be. It was a stupid thing we have done. But you cannot blame Steavy for it, it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t want to do it, but Kriss, and well all of us we pushed him into it, and Kriss offered to pay him, not to mention actually making him a part of something for once. Kriss did not mean to hurt anyone, he did not do it to fool anyone or as some hoax against you or anyone else, he did it for himself."

Mr. Ganner would give his wife a chance to cool down as he came to speak now, bearing this all more calmly perhaps out of need on account of his wife’s hysteria. "I respect and appreciate your honesty and taking responsibility for your part, and I am grateful you did come here and tell us, I am sure it must have been hard. But whatever Kriss meant to do or not do, we cannot just let it go. For his own good, he has to understand why it was wrong to do this, or what will he think up next that he wants to experience? This was dangerous enough, things could have gone wrong."

Shandra would fall silent now she knew that Mr. Ganner was right but she did not know what to do. It would be Erik who would speak next. "With all do respect, and I know this is probably none of our business or our right, but I don’t think just lecuturing him or punishing him will really change anything, I think if you want him to really understand we need to turn the tables around and give him a taste of his own medicine, but to do that everyone and I mean everyone will need to be in on it. But I think when he comes back, we should just all act as if he really were dead give him a chance to understand just what he did and how it feels." Mrs. Ganner by now seemed to have managed to calm herself down as she would come to speak once more. "As crazy as that sounds, I think it just might work. I will make a few calls"

And so it was done, Mrs. Ganner called around the neighborhood, luckily it was a small town and when she explained to everyone, they had all agreed to help out, having little reason to refuse, there was nothing left to do now but wait for Kriss to return.

It would not be long before Kriss would make his way back into town. He expected his parents to be surprised when they saw him, but he thought that after he explained to them everything, and they saw that no real harm had been done in the end it would not be a big deal really and he was still feeling pretty good about how well everything went. It was a great experience and would be worth any repercussions that might come to follow after it. His thoughts would be halted as he came near to his house and he saw the for sale sign staked in the front yard. His parents decided to leave it up as part of the effect in their plan to teach him his lesson. He had never imagined they would do anything as drastic as that, and he was starting to feel the first tinges of anxiety wondering of things would not go as smoothly as he planed. He was lucky he had not stayed away a moment longer he thought to himself and would start to walk more swiftly to the door. He paused before the door a moment, and wondered just how he should approach this. Should he just waltz in like any other day and say hey mom and dad guess what I am not really dead? Then again he did not know a subtle way to let them know and so he would take hold of the door knob and tried it, it was locked and so he would fish out his key from his pocket and unlocked the door then stepped into the house. Everything still looked the same at least he thought to himself. All the furniture was still in place, and it did not appear as if they had begun packing, so maybe that was a good sign that he had not come too late. He advanced further into the house and saw his mother sitting on the couch reading. He stood and watched a moment, wondering how he should approach.

She heard the door open and could not resist the initial urge to look up from her book and see who it was, when her gaze fell upon her son, it was with a great effort that she did not give a reaction to his presence but she was able to maintain herself and turned away without a word back to her book again. Kriss was left stunned at first, he had not been standing there long before his mother looked right at him, he was certain she did, and yet it was as if she did not see him standing there. That did not make sense; surely the sight of him would stir some reaction. Perhaps she had not seen him somehow he thought and he would start to walk forward into the living room coming closer to where she sat. "Hey mom, listen I know what you must be thinking, but I can explain." He waited for a response, but the only one that came was the sound of another page in the book turning. It was as if he was being given the silent treatment, but if that was so, then she must have been pre-warned already, it was not like her to be so calm, but how could she have found out? "Listen I know you are probably upset, but just let me explain to you. Everything worked out, if you would just try to understand you will see." Again there was nothing. He did not know what to do, but it seemed pointless to try and talk to her, he would come back later and see if he could reason with his father, for now he would try and figure out what happened and how she found out. What if they knew all along? That would have blown everything. "Steavy" he said to himself under his breath and turned to walk out the door, he must have cracked and spilled the truth, but did he do it before of after the funeral? He would pay the kid a visit.

After Kriss left Mrs. Ganner gave a sigh and closed her eyes a moment. That had not been easy. She had to use every ounce of her self-control not to turn to him, to take him in her arms, to give him a good piece of her mind for what he had done. Ignoring him was the hardest thing she could have done, but she tried to tell herself it would be worth it, if it kept him from doing something like this again.

Steavy’s father was still away at the convention and Steavy was at the mortuary sweeping up when Kriss arrived. Steavy glanced up at first upon hearing the door open and close again but upon seeing Kriss enter he looked away without a word and returned to sweeping. Kriss was starting to get frustrated with being ignored, but at first just thought Steavy was trying to avoid him because he knew he did something he should not have. "Hey I thought we had a deal" Kriss said as he began to walk closer to Steavy. "You told someone about what I was doing didn’t you?" As Kriss spoke Steavy continued to sweep up the floor without even bothering to look up again. Though Kriss was never one to use violence he was getting angry and stepped forward and grabbed his hand around Steavy’s shoulder. "Hey! I am talking to you, tell me, what happened? What is going on?" Steavy simply stepped away as if Kriss was not even there. At first he did not know what to do as he just stood there and watched in disbelief, but he saw there was no point in hanging around anymore, and he knew what he would have to do next, surely his friends would know what happened while he had been gone.

He walked around to the back of Shandra’s house where her bedroom window was, it was something they had started long ago when he wanted to visit her he would just slip into her room to avoid having to deal with her parents. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother a drug addict, they often fought and so Shandra usually just kept herself locked in her bedroom.

Kriss checked the window with his hand, and finding it was unlocked as always he pushed it open and then slipped inside pulling the window closed behind him. Shandra was currently sitting at her computer, she heard someone enter the room and glanced back when she saw Kriss it was very hard for her to look away and not acknowledge him. She wanted to go up to him to tell him everything, but for his own good, even if he did not understand she owed it to him to keep with the plan.

Kriss was already getting a bad feeling as Shandra had looked to him without so much of a greeting, but he tried to tell himself he was just being paranoid and he walked over to sit on the bed as he looked over to her though she did not look back up to him, he did not like how this was starting to look and feel, but he would not jump to any conclusions yet. "You have to tell me what is going on. What happened when I was gone? My mom wouldn’t even talk to me, she did not even look surprised or upset to see me and did not say a word or do anything, and then I went to Steavy, I figured he must have squealed, but he just completely ignored me." It gave Shandra a sense of strange relief to know that he had not come to her first, perhaps at least this way it would not appear as if she was turning her back to him, but he was already starting to figure out something strange was going on, but it was still difficult not to go to him and explain it all. She told herself that it would do not good if he did not learn his lesson, what if he did want to do something more dangerous because he thought he could get away with it?

When Shandra failed to give him any acknowledgment and did not look up from the computer or say a word he knew now that something had happened, something beyond him, in order to put the theory to final test he had to try and have interaction with someone who would be impartial who was not apart of any of this, someone who did not really know him. He turned and made his way back for the window as he slipped back out and closed the window behind him before he began to walk out across the yard once more, with a new purpose and an anxiety starting to stir in him that he could not control.

Kriss stepped into a local drugstore and grabbed a pack of cigarettes then made his way to the counter as he placed the pack on the counter top. He did not really need a new pack, but was doing this as part of his experiment to see what would happen. The clerk gave a glance up and recognized Kriss, though he did not really know the boy, he knew came in now and then for cigarettes and a few other things, but he would say nothing, nor did he make any ring Kriss up. Instead the next customer simply stepped passed him and put his items on the counter and waited as the clerk rung him up. Kriss just stood there and watched as this happened. It was like no one could see him, like he wasn’t there or did not exist. His mind began to race with the ideas that had already started to form and he turned and made his way out of the store leaving the pack behind on the counter, stepping outside he just stood there a moment. He needed time to think to try and figure things out. Could it be that he really was dead? That somehow in the process of faking his death and the funeral, something went wrong? He tried to think back to everything that happened as he started to walk down the street now without a direction in mind paying no heed to the few people he might have passed on the way. What if somehow in the act of faking his own death he had convinced himself he actually was dead to the point of making it a reality, like a self-fulfilled prophecy, was that even possible? But he did not seem as a ghost, at least not as far as he knew. He was pretty certain he could not walk through walls, and objects were still solid to him, he could still pick things up and open doors. Maybe that was because he did not know he was a ghost and had tricked himself into believing he was still a solid living being? He thought he should read up on the subject and discover what he could find out and he turned his course to the library.

When he arrived, at the library there were not many people there, he only spotted a few grazing the shelves here and there and so it was easy enough for him to find a table to sit himself with a few books he had collected on the paranormal. He began to scan through them though he had not been there long when the librarian walked up to his table and stopped there. He glanced up toward her wondering what would happen, perhaps this would crack his theory right now, and everything that happened before had been some sort of strange coincidence, but he could see she was not in fact looking at him nor doing anything to acknowledge his presence instead she exclaimed to herself. "That is strange, I do not remember seeing these books here before, maybe someone had come when I was not looking" She looked around as if searching for the one whom the books belonged to, but deciding there was no one she just began to gather them up and walked off to restock them.

For a moment he just sat there wondering what he should do, how was he going to find anything out this way? He certainly could not check the books out, when an idea began to form in his mind. He waited until the librarian had returned to her desk then he got up and walked down the aisle and began to pull out the same books once more, and tucked them under his arm then he made his way for the door, as he passed through the alarm system it began to beep and out curiosity he stopped and looked back wondering what would happen. He saw the librarian walk over as she had heard the alarm but then she stopped and looked perplexed as she glanced around a few times her gaze passed over to Kriss but it was like she did not really see him, and after a moment he simply continued to walk out to the doors, and she did not say a thing nor make any attempt to stop him.

Once he was outside and in the free and clear it seemed he stopped and looked back then glanced around, a new feeling began to rush over him and he laughed aloud. Besides the petty shoplifting now and then as a young child, mostly taking a piece of candy here and there when no one was looking, and smoking a joint now and then it had never really occurred to him to engage in criminal activity, but now that he had just gotten away with something, even if it was no more then borrowing a few books without checking them out, it gave him a feeling of excitement, as if he could do anything, and he began to wonder, what more could he do?

Though Kriss began to grow more interested now in further experimenting with his new found abilities, opposed to reading about it, he still thought there might be something useful in the books. By the time he would step back into his house, he noticed his father was home from work now sitting on the couch in the living room reading the paper, he looked around for his mother though did not see her, but figured she was around somewhere, he was about to just walk up to his room with the books when an idea stopped him. He thought for a moment before he walked over to the fireplace where there sat an old glass vase and he picked it up from the mantle and held it above his head then began to dance around the room with it, just to see what would happen. Mr. Ganner looked up from the paper as he watched the scene for a moment, before he would stand up as he called out. "Honey, you better get in here and see this."  It was not long before she would appear in the room and stop short at the sight of her son dancing around the room with a vase, shooting a glance to her husband before looking back to Kriss, she remembered to keep up the act, but half wondered what he was doing. Did he actually believe he was a ghost now? Or was he just trying to get attention in someway? "Oh my, what in the world, what is happening?" She was no actress but she did her best to sound authentic and hoped it did not come off too phony. Mr. Ganner shook his head slowly. "I don’t know." He said sounding bewildered but for him it was not completely all an act, though he knew what they had planned to do and agreed to it, it still all seemed so strange to him and this was a puzzling sight he had to admit. Slowly he would start to approach his son and then reached over snagging the vase from his hands and studied it a moment. "What do you think?" She walked up to her husband and looked down to the vase a moment then glanced back to him shaking her head. "I do not know, I never seen anything like it before." Kriss got a small chuckle out of watching them puzzle over the vase and just turned to make his way up to his room. The fun he could have he thought to himself.

After Kriss had disappeared into his room Mr. Ganner looked to his wife, keeping his voice low just in case so they would not be overheard. "Do you think this will really work?" He asked as he walked over to replace the vase back onto the mantle. Mrs. Ganner looked to him and thought a moment. "I really do not know, but I do not think we should give up just yet, it might seem fun for a little while, but how much longer, before being invisible and non-existent will get tiring? Especially if he doesn’t have his friends?" Mr. Ganner nodded his head a bit skeptically but if his wife wanted to follow through with it, he would support her, and he really had no better ideas as the best way to handle the boy for what he had done. "Yes, I suppose you are right."

Kriss dropped the books upon the desk in his room, but he really did not feel like just sitting around and reading now, he was a little psyched up and thought he would go out, though just what he would do he did not know yet, he stepped out of his room and made his way back out the front door. That was another new feeling he felt a certain freedom in, not being accountable to his parents, or anyone, but coming and going as he pleased.

He found himself standing just before the doors of the local supermarket as he watched the people pass in and out and he wondered if he really was going to do this. He did not know what brought him here; he had not been thinking anything specific when he left the house, when suddenly he got an idea. It had never occurred to him before to be a vandal, but he was driven by the thrill of excitement knowing he could just waltz right in and do whatever he wanted and walk out again. No one had ever really noticed him before; perhaps in a twist of irony, in his death he would get noticed. He stepped through the doors and strode into the store. He choose an aisle at random and began to walk down the row as he stretched out one of his arms and began sweeping items off the shelf and onto the floor, causing chaos in the store as the customers just gaped in disbelief and a few gave startled screams as they began to move out of the way. Not all of them there were acting, but just aghast at the sight of a man doing such a thing, and left bewildered by Kriss’s confidence and sense of self-assurance as he was certain that he walked cloaked in invisibility. He would not see the people pointing behind his back at him, or hear the whispers exchanged between people, which perhaps if he had noticed would have ended things right then and there, but he was too much in his own world to notice those around him clearly staring and gawking at him as he passed. He imagined that he was giving them quite the show and had to laugh to himself, and though he was giving a show it was not the one he had in mind. He envisioned the people watching the items sent flying off the shelves by some invisible force, just as he rounded the corner and began to walk now with a destination in mind the clerks had come down the aisle to see what the commotion was about and began to clean up and restock the shelves.

Kriss pulled open one of the large freezers and pulled out a cold drink unscrewing the cap he tipped it back and began to guzzle the refreshment down. He was aware of a woman with her child that happened to be in the same aisle just standing there watching him, or as he assumed the levitating bottle and he gave a small grin to himself as she lowered the bottle balancing it on the palm of his hand he moved it through the air before them and watched as the woman protectively pulled her child closer to her and turned to hurry away, catching the gleam of fear in her eyes, convinced it was on account of the unnatural phenomenon they were witnessing and not the fact that he looked like a lunatic.

Shortly after Kriss had left the store the phone at the Ganner's house would ring. Mrs. Ganner picked it up and listened somberly to the voice on the other end then said. "I understand, I am sorry," before hanging up and turning to her husband. "We made a mistake. We have to stop him." Mr. Ganner did not have to ask what she was talking about, she saw it all on her face, something had happened and he nodded his head. "Alright, what do you think we should do?" He asked, "I will call his friends and explain to them, maybe he will try to make contact with one of them or try and visit them, then we will go looking for him." Mr. Ganner nodded his head once more, as it was as good idea as any he thought and he got up and began to get ready to go while she made the calls.

It was not long after Mrs. Ganner finished calling Shawn, Shandra and Erik, that Kriss showed up at Shawn’s house, and the Ganner’s were in the car on their way to the supermarket to see what they could do there to make things right for what happened. Kriss tried the door and saw it was unlocked he stepped into the house and closed the door behind him, and was surprised when he was greeted by Shawn. "Man, there you are, we need to talk." Kriss had come with the intention of trying to get in touch with Shawn in someway, he figured if he could get through to anyone it would be him, but he never thought it would happen like this. He knew there were people reported to be sensitive to seeing sprits but Shawn never mentioned having had such experiences before. "You can see me? This is great; you are not going to believe what I have to tell you."

Shawn could see a change in Kriss, there was an excitement about him that had not been there before and a new light within his eyes. He was starting to become more concerned and he took a deep breath before beginning to explain. "Look, its not what you think, you are not"¦..well a ghost, or spirit, or whatever you think happened to you. It was all put on." Kriss stood aghast at his friend’s words, and for a moment he felt his world shake under him. He could not accept what he was being told; he would not let Shawn or anyone take away this new found freedom. "You do not know what you are talking about. How could you say that?" Shawn could only gape at Kriss’s words, was he serious? Did he genuinely believe he really had transported himself into some sort of other being? He was growing a little scared for his friend. "Kriss, come on, think about it. If you were a ghost we would not be standing her arguing about it, I could not do this," he stepped up to his friend and reached out and touched his shoulder. "Don’t you see, you are real, just as I am, you are alive, none of this really happened." Kriss brushed away Shawn’s hand and took an advancing step toward his friend, before just backing away and shaking his head, though is voice raised slightly as he came to speak again. "I thought I could trust you, you are just jealous of what I accomplished," and before Shawn could say another word Kriss took off out of the house slamming the door behind him.

Shawn had never seen his friend like this before and did not know what to do, he did not think it would do any good to go after him now, but he was worried Kriss might do something. He walked over to the phone and dialed Shandra’s number. He waited for the phone to ring several times before hanging up.. Shawn then dialed up Erik, luckily he answered. "Did you get the call?" he asked, and when Erik replied "Yes, what’s up?" Shawn said "Kriss was just here, I tried to explain to him and he flipped out, I think he really believes, or wants to so bad he is in denial, I tried Shandra but she must have went to look for Kriss on her own after she got the call. I need help" It was not like Shawn to be so worked up about something and Erik began to grow really concerned now. "Ok, sit tight I will be right over and then we will go and find him, and hopefully run into Shandra on the way." With that he hung up the phone and left the house.

Kriss walked down the street without any conscious destination, led by his sub-conscious mind as his thoughts reeled by everything he had heard. He could still hear Shawn’s words ringing in his mind and he went over everything else that had happened. How could it be fake? What about the library and what happened at the supermarket, and the drugstore? How could that all be put on. No! Shawn had to be wrong. It was real; he would prove it to all of them. He found himself standing before an old apartment building in town and without having to think about it, he knew by instinct what he was going to do. He leapt up to catch the first available rung of the fire escape and pulled himself up onto the ladder and would continue on up to the roof of the building, it was hard work and when he finally reached the top, if he was not so pumped up and had himself so convinced, he might have noticed his quickened heart rate and labored breath and stopped to think about that a moment, but he was in a zone which rendered him oblivious to it.

He walked to the edge of the building and glanced down a moment. "Nothing can touch me now." He said to himself as if it were a mantra. Shawn should be here to see this, or it won’t mean anything he told himself and he lowered himself to sit upon the roof and wait, if he knew his friend he would come looking for him, and it would only be a matter of time before he had to come here, so he would wait.

"So what do we do?" Erik asked Shawn as they stood in his house. Shawn did not know, but he had a very bad feeling he thought for a moment and a part of him wished he had immediately gone after Kriss and used force if necessary to keep him but he shook that from his mind, nothing could be done about it now. "We will take my car, I think he is going to do something, I do not know what. We can cruise by all the usual haunts, but I don’t think he will be there, but we might find Shandra and we can pick her up to come with us." Erik had never seen Shawn like this before, he was serious and somber almost, it made him antsy and he was eager now to find Kriss. "Ok let’s go."

"Do you think we should call the cops to find him" Mrs. Ganner asked her husband as they sat now inside the car still parked in the supermarket parking lot. Mr. Ganner behind the wheel. They had already smoothed things over with the store owner, and paid for any damages that might have been done. Mr. Ganner was quiet for a moment before shaking his head slowly with a sigh. "I really do not know. What would we tell them?" Mrs. Ganner sat silently for a moment before she gave a soft sigh to herself. "You are right, how would we explain? But we have to find him, I am worried." Mr. Ganner started the car and began to pull out of the parking lot. "He could not have gotten far, don’t worry, we will find him." He said trying to sound both assertive and reassuring and hide his own misgivings.

Kriss saw a familiar car pull up to the apartment building and slowly he began to stand up. So he was here at last he thought to himself. Erik was the first to spot Kriss on the roof and pointed out the window. "Look there!" Shandra and Shawn both looked up and Shawn was quick to stop the car as they all began to get out. Kriss was surprised to see all three of them together, and if he had not been past the point of reason, he might have noticed Erik pointing up at him, and Shandra attempting to call to him and get his attention. But he saw none of this. He stood with his feet just against the edge of the roof and spread out his arms.

They all knew what was coming, and for a brief moment time felt suspended, and then it happened. Kriss was falling through the air, and it was over. It did not happen in slow motion like it did in the movies. One moment he jumped, the next blood splattered across the pavement and the sound of bones shattering was heard with a loud pop. Shandra gave a sharp intake of breath and turned to Shawn burying her head against his shoulder. It was more then Erik could take, he keeled over and began to upchuck his lunch. Shawn limply draped an arm around Shandra not even aware of his doing it, as he stood in complete shock, paralyzed.

And that is how it all happened. They all shared their own piece in the blame, and each felt they had been given that one moment to stop it, to turn things around but instead, let it slip through their fingertips. Shawn, Erik, and Shandra walked up to the coffin, it was closed casket this time around. Each placed a hand upon the wood before turning to walk away in silence.

3:41 PM - 12/1/2006 - post comment

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