Lost Discovery

I had a very intresting and quite revealing exerpince today and it really has given me a lot to think about, and to really look into myself and evulatute somethings. In many ways, it has not given me anything new persae or anything I have not already known in some fasion or another, but it has deepend my prespective and has made sense of a lot of things and given me some new things to consider and take to heart.

I was just going about my daily busines when this phrase quite out of nowhere came to enter into my mind. I had no idea what the phrase meant and it came in a way as if someone else was saying it to me, not as if I truly thought it up myself. It was nothing I had heard before or read anywhere and it stuck within my mind. So I went to tell a good friend of mine about it, whom I often dicuss my unusual experinces with becasue he is very knowledgeable and I like to get his insight, and what he said was surprising and rather intresting.

First of all the phrase in question were these words

"I am the oracle who speaks only lies"

So I was telling my friend about it, when he told me that there was this deity in anceint Babylon whom was known as being the oracle of lies. He is called Narmateru, and he is the deity of Lies and Deceit, he is also a part man, part crocodile, and part ram god.

My friend suggusted to me that it may be that he is one of my spirit guides. I was quite impressed that when I quoted the phrase to him he knew it at all, and I half exepcted him to just laugh and find it nonsense so I found this all very intresting. And then my friend told me that if Narmateru was my spirt guide then the crocodile or the ram could be a totem animal for me.

This really struck me, becasue I have always ever sense I was young felt a certain draw and connection to the crocodile and when I was kid swiming in the pool I would often pretend that I was a crocodile. I do have much in common with the croc and we share the same social structure. There is a lot about the animal that explains many of my own traits.

They are solitary animals who do not care much for socilizing with others, but they do mate for life, and they are very protective of thier mates and thier brood.

Of course we all know that I am an anti-socail personalaity, but this also explains why I never had much of an intrest in dating or entering in any sort of trivail relationships or highschool flings or anything of that nature, but simply wished to find that one person whom I would spend the rest of my life with and that would be that. As well as the fact that I have always had such a staunch, strong and unwavering beleif in monogamy.

Another intresting asepct of the croc of which I can identify with is that fact that despite thier nature, and the fact that they are preadatory animals with this thick hard outer skin and instcintive killer instinct, they have another side that most do not see or are made aware of. Crocs are in fact highly maternal, they have a very tender side, and really do make very exceelent and caring gentle mothers.

In many ways I can identify with this, though for me it is more symbolic, as I do not have any wish to acutally have childern, I do have this sort of maternaly side, it is just not the litteral between mother to child, but I have had in the past a habbit of being drawn to friends whom are, what you might call broken, people that have come from shaky backgrounds, bad family life, and have a lot they are dealing with, becasue of this instinct I have had to sort of be the one to reach out to them and help guide them.

And it explains why I have always had such an affinity for the water and why I am so comftrable in the water and why I love to swim so much.

10:27 PM - 5/30/2007 - post comment

Quote of the Week: Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted ~ Italian Proverb

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