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My very first blog, was this little blog on Aol that did not have very many readers, and was something of a chaotic out pouring of my emotions and feelings at the time, unflitered and uneditied. Though this blog is a good deal more orginized and profressional then that one ever was, those kind of writings were very theruputic for me, and helped me deal with my mania, so I thought I would create a catagory here dedicated to my stream of concious writings. They are likely to be dark and distubring in some reguards.
I feel the sorrow sweel within me and yet there is a numbness there which will not grow
I try to find the asnwers but they will not come and only ecchos are in my mind
trapped within the vines while am lost in the darkness
reach out to grasp on but it only slips through my fingertips
there is no expression, cannot surpass the block that grows and dies
why I would scream if I could by my words are silent becasue
I am lost and wilting slowly, perhaps thirsiting for a single drop
blood fall slowly from the leaf, I float unafirad yet trembling
screaming inside with deafening silence
without you there seems to be nothing
I wait in my decay, for you are my life source
and only that could revive me to life again
untill then I pass in a daze
where nothing seems to matter
however hard I try to engage
Eruption from me, to dislodged it
like a diease but never will the well dry
I seek the calm
but it mocks me
So I have come to this
while I watch it pass
and want something
to feel again
to breath again
to know something more
but it is still
and I am paralyzed inside out
I crave you like air
I bleed you like blood
I drink you in
and you seep into my roots
so you must brighten my life
once more, and give me a reason
for this etneral sacrifice.
8:58 PM - 7/30/2007 -
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