Direction

One thing I have learned about myself is that it seems I have an inablity to trust instructions or directions that are given to me. I do not know why but for some reason I always seem to exepct them to be wrong or to lead me astray. And this goes for just about everything be it some electornic device, a school assginment, cooking...etc.

Whenever I am doing something in which I have to follow some instructions I always exepct things to somehow go horribly wrong even though I know I am doing it just like the instructions are telling me to do it. I will end up like re-reading the same instcutions 5 times even though I know I had read it right the first time. Or I will be doing something, and I will know that I am doing what the instrcutions told me to do, but the whole time I will still think that somehow I am doing it wrong.

Like onetime when I was cooking some rice to go with dinner, and the directions said to cook for 20-30 mins I think it said. Something like that, but for some reason I kept convinving myself that the rice was going to burn if I kept it in there for that long, even though that is what it said to do on the box. So I ended up stopping it about 10mins. sooner, and guess what? It was a little undercooked, becasue it probaly would have been perfectly fine if I just left it in there for as long as the directions said to.

Or if I am having a problem with my computer, or some other such device so I look up what to do about the problem and then I go to do what the support thingy tells me to do, the whole time, even though I am doing just what it said to do, I will be worried that I am going to cause an even bigger problem to happen if I do what they tell me to do to fix it.

I think the problem might be rooted in both my control and my trust issues. I do not like something to be out of my control and I also have probelms trusting others, even if the other happens to be words on a box. I do not like to feel as if I am not in control of a situation, and if I happen to be doing something in which I am not grealy knowledgable, or cannot figure out how to do just on my own, I do not like having to just completely trust another source to fix the problem, knowing that if something does go wrong I will have no control of the problem or ablity to fix it and so I have to completely put my trust in this other source.

And I have had a long time habbit of never really like to or bothering with reading instructual mannuals for anything new I get, unless I feel I have to, but generally I usually prefre to just figure out how something works on my own just by pushing different buttons to see what they do and such, instead of trying to read some booklet that tells me what everything is and how it works.

Also I do not like doing things that I do not fully understand how to do, without having another person there who happens to be knowlegeable in whatever it is, so that if something does go wrong, I cannot just have them just fix it for me, I am most espcially like that with computers. Because I am completely lost on how computers work. So when I do have a problem with the computer though I try my best to fix the problem myself I wish I could just have some computer expert appear and making the problem go away. I have always seceretly desired that there were little computer fixing gnomes, so if something was wrong I could just turn the computer off and go to bed, and they would come out at night and make everything work again.

8:53 PM - 1/8/2008 - post comment

Interesting

Your feelings remind me of something I heard about fear of flying. Many people who are afraid to fly are not afraid of crashing. I didn't think there was anything to fear BUT crashing (unless you are claustrophobic). The truth is that many people can't stand the thought of having 0% control once the doors close. They know they can't fly a plane, but still, having 100% of their destiny out of their hands makes them quite uncomfortable. You are sure not alone. Maybe it's just that you are confident in yourself and you've found out that you can't trust everything that you read.

Fightingfemale - 1:19 AM - 1/9/2008

Quote of the Week: Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted ~ Italian Proverb

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