Another Day

Drifting into sleep

sliding along distant streams

or drawning among the streams

the smell of rain

feeling the pain

while softly calling

from somewhere in the deep

at the bottom of a well

encased in darkness

just another tell

a step away

to fall from the moon

while watching the world

upside down

no longer one with the crown

just another voice

which bespoke

of this instance

a jesture of a clown

dressed to death.

11:27 PM - 10/16/2008 - comments {0} - post comment

My Own Audience

10:29 PM - 10/10/2008 - comments {0} - post comment

All in a rush

All in a rush it hits at once
there is no more hiding
where are there words
they fail the most
when you are endlessly trying

All in a rush it hits at once
no longer can you try and pretend
once when you thought you had made amends
I know these words are crap

What do they mean
nothing real just empty blubbering
what is thier purpose
to speak,
when you try and discover some truth
you hold back right when you have reached the peak

No breaking free
no reveal
locked inside yourself
what do you feel

Falling away
it begins to peel
like skin
now that it comes
you still fool yourself and wonder
which is true
and which is false

Is it all just a game
are you real
or made of parts
hewn and shaped
but by your own construction
how many fake emotions
have you molded from the clay

Yet what do you know
of your own feelings
hiding away
it was like a joke
but now
it might be bithed
into something more

But maybe this is the stage
are you seeking something
for yourself in this very moment
do you stand

Have you been made a fool
and so played the part of the fool
fooled others inadverntently
your deception was not intended
but was it to quickly made

What now is the purpose of this
but to hear yourself
speaking into the air
to be something more

Give it up
and chocke it down
is it yourself that you fool

10:07 PM - 10/3/2008 - comments {0} - post comment

Devil Has My Soul

8:56 PM - 9/11/2008 - comments {0} - post comment

Don't Vote Red

9:36 PM - 9/4/2008 - comments {0} - post comment

Blood Stone

All I've got is this stone covered in blood

and all I can feel is this pain

eating out my soul

all that I can see is the dark ocean

sprawling out before me.

This is where it all began

and this is where it all will end

becasue you don't understand

while the time disengrates

And everything I own

is crimson and sapphire

that isn't worth a damn.

Just a blood covered stone

and everything I see

is blindness and oblivion

so take me away

to some other plane

of exisistence.

9:10 AM - 7/27/2008 - comments {0} - post comment

Free Me

I catch a sight of the light.

but still it is only a teasing flutter

the darkness surrounds

the evil dark

not the soothing

caressing dark

no sedcution is hear

only pain

that impales

without end.

What has overcome?

as I try to fight

but still I cannot reach the top

I feel the breath

a sliver of the crest

but always it slips

just from my finger tips.

Where is the calm of the storm?

only turmoil rages here

vying for a place

rooting into a hold

gagging

I cannot breath.

Strength and weakness

push and pull

so I struggle against it

My head keeps spinning

and I want to lay down

and close my eyes

sometimes I think I am dying

but I want to live

at least I think I do

sometimes it is hard to truly say

when everything is exploited.

Salt in the wounds

or so they say

never thought it would go this way

but still I try and hold on

to something

that is never quite enough.

Blood and ashes,

that all there is

free me from this

just let me go

whenever I think I am close

it has only just begun.

8:54 PM - 2/1/2008 - comments {0} - post comment

Outcast

I am always the outcast

looking out from behind my gilded bars

I watch them pass

blurred faces, meere smudges

and I sit and wonder

I walk a shadow among

and do not manifest myself

I slide through cracks

and dance only with the sadows

my wings have grown to rust

but what good where they ever?

I do not recall flying upon a cloudless day

in the blue skies

but then I have always prefered the gray.

7:30 PM - 10/28/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Lost

I want to cry when the sun is shining

and dance while no one is looking

touch the rain drops

and forget everything for a while

I know where the truth is waiting

yet search as I might I cannot find it

the world is slowly sinking

and I cannot find the way

so I just close my eyes and pray

to an ideal floating in a halo of silver and gold

may the darkness light my way

10:52 PM - 10/12/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

The Yearning

I hear them scream

watch the dribble

upon this I would scribble

yearn beyond and seekwithin

falling away into the fire pit

so the wind in my hear

it would speak should I listen

but I close my eyes at night

and give a silent prayer to

those whom are deaf while

I dispair.

Heart beat and heart pulse

blood runs

cold and hot,

another shot

but for the darkness

where I wither

a flower chocked

of oxygen and sunlight

that never meant much of anything.

So dry away

and live through another day

what more can there be done?

Find a speck of happiness

lying to yourself

while you hold truth

by the fingertips.

Unraveled before its time

fall into the river

now I drift a maidens fair

where one might see

and one might smile

but I scorn those looks

and know my prision

my heart is locked

and the stole away

but did I not willingly

give, and hopeful I remain.

7:31 PM - 8/21/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Scream

I scream a thousand screams but there is no sond

while I am floating upon this dream

the black river amasses

and my blood would curl

hoping for something more

I look to the sea and it seems to stare back

in the sparkling of twilight, I would break free

overswell this change that seems to bind me

and I miss the blackness on such nights

would pray to the moon

for one last kiss and a midnight taste

to try and empty myself out

and sepw it upon the floor

maybe I will find a end to this

then it would all come to be alright

but now my eyes would close

and the water does not come

but I wonder do I restrain

and hover here without

rhyme or reason.

9:13 PM - 7/30/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Raw Emotion

My very first blog, was this little blog on Aol that did not have very many readers, and was something of a chaotic out pouring of my emotions and feelings at the time, unflitered and uneditied. Though this blog is a good deal more orginized and profressional then that one ever was, those kind of writings were very theruputic for me, and helped me deal with my mania, so I thought I would create a catagory here dedicated to my stream of concious writings. They are likely to be dark and distubring in some reguards.

I feel the sorrow sweel within me and yet there is a numbness there which will not grow

I try to find the asnwers but they will not come and only ecchos are in my mind

trapped within the vines while am lost in the darkness 

reach out to grasp on but it only slips through my fingertips

there is no expression, cannot surpass the block that grows and dies

why I would scream if I could by my words are silent becasue

I am lost and wilting slowly, perhaps thirsiting for a single drop

blood fall slowly from the leaf, I float unafirad yet trembling

screaming inside with deafening silence

without you there seems to be nothing

I wait in my decay, for you are my life source

and only that could revive me to life again

untill then I pass in a daze

where nothing seems to matter

however hard I try to engage

Eruption from me, to dislodged it

like a diease but never will the well dry

I seek the calm

but it mocks me

So I have come to this

while I watch it pass

and want something

 to feel again

to breath again

to know something more

but it is still

and I am paralyzed inside out

I crave you like air

I bleed you like blood

I drink you in

and you seep into my roots

so you must brighten my life

once more, and give me a reason

for this etneral sacrifice.

8:58 PM - 7/30/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Quote of the Week: Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted ~ Italian Proverb

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