
| Labyrinth of the Mind |
I love irony....This girl was talking on her cell phone standing behind me, and well she was talking loud enough for anyone within a 30ft radius of her to hear what she was saying, so to say the least I couldn't help but to hear her whether I wanted to or not.
It was evident that she was getting into some sort of argument with someone on the other end of the phone and apparently about some plans they had made or something someone said, whatever the case may be she was yelling at the person on the other end of the phone:
"She ain't at the movies, You are lying, I know for a fact you are lying. You want to know how I know you are lying? Well I am standing in front of the theater right now! As we speak I am standing in front of the theater! And you are lying!"
To say the least, as it so happened, I was not at the theater, she was standing behind me in line at Ross.
2:47 PM - 1/16/2010 - comments {0} - post commentWhat I have learned about birds...1. They are psychic, or have telepathic abilities (that is yet to be determined)
2. They love to torment me 3. They really object to having their photo taken. While I have been suspecting for a while now that there was some conspiracy working against me among the world of my mischievous feathered friends I think today it has been finally confirmed that not only are they in an active pursuit to taunt me, but they also must posses some supernatural ability to so effectively put their plans into operation.
My suspicions that something was afoot were first raised when I was out taking my walk, upon a day on which I quite naturally decided to leave my camera behind, and there within the park I cut through perched upon one of the branches of a tree, which was only but a few feet away from me, was a hawk, whom appeared quite unphased by my appearance and did not in the least stir as I walked by.
Naturally, the next day I brought my trusty camera with me, and do you think there was hide or hair of that hawk anywhere around? Of course not, and ever since, they seemed to have developed the rather convenient way of not being present when I just so happen to be prepared.
Now recently for about week I have been mocked by this great white egret. He has taken to enjoying hanging around the creek upon which I walk by, and the first day I came upon him, perched upon a tree branch I as I prepared to take his picture he naturally takes off in flight.
The suspicious thing about this is the fact, that when I go out without my camera and see him, I will walk right by where he happens to be standing or perched, and he won't budge an inch. Then the other day I saw him again down by the creek, and the creek down this slope and I was at the top of the slope and I got my camera up and read, had the bird in the view of my camera, and at the exact moment that I was bout to hit the button to snap the photo all of the sudden he takes flight.
So today I was getting ready to go out and contemplated taking my camera, but I just had it the other day, and it was pretty foggy out, so I decided to leave it behind. And low and behold I happen upon my egret again perched within a tree, and this time he was like even closer then he usually is when I attempt to take his picture, and I was standing across from where he was in the tree, and he was just chilling there. I thought I would try and trick him to see what would happen, and I brought up my hands, as if I had my camera, and mimed taking a photo of the bird, and guess what? He did not budge an inch.
Well then later as I continue on my way, I am walking along this trail which cuts through the foot hills when up ahead perched upon a fence post, perhaps only a few feet away from me is this big beautiful hawk. I stop and stand right in front of him, and he is not in the least bit phased he just looks me.
You think that would ever happen if I had my camera with me? No, of course not.
12:05 PM - 1/15/2010 - comments {0} - post commentEverlasting BeautyEverlasting BeautyHer elegance becomes her draped within midnight's veil of mystery, as the winds strum sweetly upon the stars to play her serenade. Quivering in ethereal immortality histories silent witness Never changing eternal beauty passing through our lives untouched Countless souls connected through words she inspired Her cold touch ever reaching alights the spirits fire Awed beneath her gaze as she travels through time yet so intimately felt by those caught within her starry webs. 9:58 PM - 1/14/2010 - comments {0} - post commentI may have found a rare species of mushroom...Yes, I know the odds that in my walking around the neighborhood I would so happen to stumble upon some notoriously difficult to find mushroom species, which experts who spend their time traipsing through the forest and know what they are looking for and where to look cannot find, but hey it is possible right?
I was out taking my walk today and I had my camera with me, for one because it had recently rained, so I thought that might help produce some interesting shots, and there is this egret whom has been tormenting me that I wanted to try and catch at last (I failed again there), and I had not been out with my camera in a while.
So I thought to myself since I was out walking around and had my camera why not try and see if I can uncover anything new in the mushroom world for my little project.
And as it happened I did come across this quite curious and rather cool looking mushroom that I had previously not seen before, there were two of them growing together, and one was quite large and round, and they had a sort of lavender tinge to them. I took some pictures and took the smaller of the two with me as a specimen I could study up close to try and identify.
First thing I did was look in one of the nature books I have to see if I could find anything that resembled it in there, and I found this type of mushroom known as Tricholoma that resembled the mushroom I found, so I decided to google it and I did a google image search when I saw a photo that was almost completely identical to my own photograph of the mushroom I found..
When I clicked on the link for the photo I found it was from a really good website that I have frequently used in my mushroom adventures called the mushroomexpert.com, and the page identified the mushroom on their website as being an American Matsutake.
While I was reading about the mushroom one of the things it said about it was that it had a very distinctive smell that was almost spice and foul at the same time, so I took a sniff of my own specimen of the mushroom and I thought that it did seem to have a bit of a tangy scent to it (perhaps that is just physiological), but to say the least I was skeptical of my findings, and I looked through several of the other mushrooms within the Tricholoma family but none so closely resembled the example I found, I even looked up a some different types of mushroom species but I couldn't find any others that looked as similar to the one I found as the Matsutake.
Though of course, in my amateur status I don't consider any of my identifications 100% positive, and there are so many different kinds of mushrooms and so many that do look so much alike there is always room for error.
1:31 PM - 1/14/2010 - comments {1} - post commentFun With FungiThough I cannot stand to eat mushrooms, ever since I was a kid I have had a certain fascination with wild mushrooms. There was always something about them which would draw me in, and that I took delight in. I loved traipsing around my grandma's backyard looking for mushrooms just to study and observe, and to say the least I never quite grew out of my "mushroom phase."I still have a sort of whimsical attachment to the mushroom, part of this reason is because of my ever present obsession with death, and the connection mushrooms have to death. In the literal and rather real since, if one is not careful mushrooms can be deadly as there are many highly poisonous species. As well in the more mythical sense mushrooms have a connection to the Otherworld, they grow up from the ground, and the darkness, and are rooted in the earth, so the come from the world of the dead and connect this world to the next. Along those same lines, another part of the appeal to mushrooms, is there is something arcane about them. They have played an important role for medicinal purposes as well as hallucigens within many different Pagan cultures, and have in old traditions been associated with fairies. So I have decided as a personal project to start working on what I call my Mushroom Book, part of the purpose of this project is, because I have such an interest in mushrooms, to in a creative and engaging way further my own personal knowledge about different types of mushrooms. My book is going to be a documentation of the many variety of different types of mushrooms I come across, which will include photographs of each different specimens, and for my own personal study I will collect samples of the different types of mushrooms in an effort to try and identify what they are. Once I am fairly confident in my identification of the mushroom, I will put together a brief fact sheet of the different properties and characteristics of that particularly type of mushroom. Within I am also thinking about including different legends, myths, and historical information relating to the mushroom. Though the identification part is going to prove to be quite the challenge, because there are so many different types of mushrooms and all look so similar to each other. I have already been stumped upon my first mushroom find. It bares a very strong resemblance to a type of Lactarius, but it lacks the milky secretions within the gills that the Lactarius is known for, but I have yet to find another species that resembles it. Though I am fairly positive that the 2nd specimen I found is a pear-shaped puffball. 1:08 PM - 1/14/2010 - comments {0} - post commentFar Away BoysInspired by the song Far Away Boys by Flogging Molly
Far Away Boys He remembers a pair of eyes green as the Emerald Isle, her smile, morning sunshine sweet gentle warmth, as they fade away into the dust and dirt, the vast land of endless beige sand and a sun that was not a lover nor a friend. Far away boys Far away boys In a stolen scrap of shade he will drift away to the taste of her lips, never to forget her precious scent but awakened to gun smoke and only blood upon cracked lips which haven't been touched in longer then he can recall. Far away boys Far away boys The seasons pass unnoticed here as they tell him when Summer slid into Winter and Spring waits upon the crest, but instead of life he finds only more death and a growing will to die. Beneath the heart and relentless pain, again he'll close his eyes to slip away into her waiting arms, and there she glows an angle to set him free. Far away boys Far away boys He knows this vision of her face is the last he'll ever see as her image disappears into sand "I'll see you in Hell boys" the last words he ever hears and he will die within her arms to whisper sweet good-bye upon the burning winds, he won't come home again. Far away boys far away....... 9:53 PM - 1/5/2010 - comments {0} - post commentYou Are My EarthYou Are My Earth
You are my Earth
steady beneath my feet
you carry your own
gravitational pull
that brings me down
into your warm comfort
which does not fail
nor recede
but remains
to sustain me.
As I am like the wind
ill-tempered
without warning
given to bursts of tantrums
unpredictable
sometimes biting cold
through the bones
or an angry hot breath
but on gentle mornings
and winter nights
a whisper in your ear
a reminder
that even when still
always here.
You are vital water
my sustaining nourishment
a cool comfort
ready to embrace
engulfing me
a thousand lapping tongues
welcome me
you alter your course
with the shifting tides
and down beneath
hide the power
which may at a moment
be unleashed
an unstoppable force
but you cradle my falls
and carry me on.
While I burn hot like a fire
devouring destruction
consuming all within my rages
spreading quickly without mercy
swift to ignite I blaze my own path
leaving behind only the ash
but when tempered
I warm you on cold nights
I can build walls of flame around you
against the world and light
your way through the darkness.
You anchor me down
and hold me back
you are the cooling touch
to soothe my wrath
you are the grounding earth
to my unstable winds
you are the rejuvenating waters
to my scorching infernos.
8:50 PM - 1/4/2010 - comments {0} - post commentThe Girl and Her NameThe Girl and Her Name
She had a name like
some exotic far away
with syllables rolling off the tongue
which made you think
of sensual hip swaying,
suggestions of perfumed silk
and a dance in smokey dens,
you would believe the stars
lived within her eyes,
and her hair rolled in black
midnight.
But as the wind sighs
that was only a name,
a sound like a song,
and what the melody could
conjure up like a breath that
escapes, vanishing into space.
She was not her name,
and once the fixation
with her vowels began to fade
away, only she is left
within its place, a girl
who was not born upon a desert island
with eyes that never glimpsed the
cosmos.
But she could not be blamed
for never understanding how her name
became an entity beyond the reach
of her narrow grip.
10:07 PM - 1/3/2010 - comments {0} - post commentMy Lady ChaosMy Lady Chaos
Her eyes flayed me
into ribbons
as the venom
upon her lips
burns through me.
We watch
the night turn red
and I feel the fire
of her nails
peel away my flesh.
My breath
stands still
like a stagnant pool
imagining the hum
of breeding
mosquitoes
waiting
to eat me
alive
from the inside.
And she laughs
with the grate
of sandpaper
all gravel
and broken glass.
Her smile
splits open the sky
and the rain
like knives
lances though
whatever is left of me.
Broken upon
the rocks of her caresses
smashed
into her jagged sides
there is no illusion
I live so she can
tear me down.
In the end
rendered
by your
affection.
8:21 PM - 1/2/2010 - comments {0} - post commentWinter's MasqueradeWinter's Masquerade
Your lies fall away
frozen upon the floor
black and gold
against the snow
which whispers
of a forgotten fairy tale
blank eyes
fixated upon the stars
lost within captured memories
incapable of shutting out
the snow flakes.
You have lost your mask
silently the story is told
upon painted lips
stolen romances
evaporate
within the winter air
fading away.
You no longer recognize
yourself within the mirror
for the forgotten face
left behind
where a melody still plays
from long distant days
concealed behind
the harlequins
disguise.
11:01 PM - 12/30/2009 - comments {0} - post commentThe Unexpected BookI found myself reading a book that under normal circumstances I never would have even thought to pick up for a couple of reasons. For one the truth is I just don't read a lot of non-fiction, though I do try and altar that from time to time, which brings the 2nd reason, that it should go without saying that when I do read non-fiction it is about a topic of personal interest to me and usually something history related and the book in question happened to be about a subject of which I would not consider to be of any particular personal interest to me. It was quite by chance that I ended up reading it.
The book is a memoir by Brandon Novak, and many of you might have the same question I first had......just who the heck is Brandon Novak?
Well apparently he is something of a minor celebrity in the skating world.
The book belongs to my 19 year old cousin who was down visiting over the holidays and he is a part of the whole skateboarding counter-culture. He is a skater and follows the world of skating, and so he knew all about this Novak dude. And when I first saw him with the book there were a few things which immediately stood out to me before I even had any inkling of just what it was about:
1. Seeing my cousin with a book. Outside of comic books he had never been much of a reader, and I cannot recall an occasion before when he was reading a book voluntarily.
2. The title "Dreamseller" stuck out at me as being rather catchy and sounded intriguing.
3. The cover art which had a certain appeal to me.
4. Upon the front cover it said that it was a memoir of addiction and for personal reasons of my own I have a certain fascination with the world of addiction. I loved the movie Requiem for a Dream, and upon reading the back cover, it was all about Novak's struggle with his drug addiction and so that sort of peeked my interest.
So we had to go to this little family part, get together type thing that has been a tradition in the family for the Eve of the Yuletide. But one thing me and my cousin have in common is the fact that we are not much for mingling around and socializing. The two of us found a couch in the back to crash on together. After we had finished eating and such, and there was not much going on he brought out the book and being as I was siting right next to him and hadn't anything better to do I started reading over his shoulder.
I was first struck by what an easy and fast read the book was. I am accustomed to works of non-fiction being tedious and at times a bit dull to read, which is why I don't pursue them much, but this book was fast and easy, and proved as entertaining as a novel and so it began to draw in my interest.
At one point my cousin ended up getting distracted with something else and he knew that I was reading along so he just handed over the book to me to let me keep reading and ultimately ended up loaning it to me and told me I could go ahead and keep it until I was finished with it.
I am now within a few chapters of finishing it and I really enjoyed and one of the things that I think is really good about this book is the fact that, the truth is drugs and the skating lifestyle often do tend to go hand in hand, and I think this story could prove quite beneficial particularly to teenagers who embrace the skating culture.
While there are always going to be those whom are going to get into drugs no matter what, I think this book could have a positive influence. For one thing it holds nothing back, it shows the brutal, ugly, filthy truth about drug use and strips away any veneer of Hollywood glamour and romantization that the world of drug use might have from a distance.
And because part of the skating lifestyle is about this idea of rebellion and getting back at the man, fighting authority, I think teenagers would be a lot more receptive to this figure who is "one of them" sharing their story about the negative effect drugs have had on their life, than they would be just to parents or some other authority figure lecturing to them why drugs are bad.
1:08 PM - 12/30/2009 - comments {0} - post commentThe Ends Justify the MeansI do not watch reality TV shows for the most part but I know people who do, and it seems as if poeple always dislike those who are deceitcul, mainpultive, and lie to get ahead in the game. Now it is perfectly obvious where there would be a general tendency not to like such people but my perception upon it as to say the least different than most people. 5:51 PM - 12/21/2009 - comments {0} - post commentPagan GirlI recently had my itunes music moved from my old computer onto my lap top when I noticed that a few songs did not transfer over, mostly songs of which had been downloaded from ther internet so I was e-mailing the songs to myself from the old computer to open them up on my lap top to download them into itunes and I came acorss this song that my dearly beloved had sent me when we were first getting to know each other, and I just thought it was really cute and sweet.
Pagan Girlby Emerald Rose
Well the world is full of women 2:02 AM - 12/19/2009 - comments {0} - post commentAnacoluthonAnacoluthon: 1. Syntactical inconsistency or incoherence in a sentence. 2. The shift from one construction to another.1:40 PM - 12/16/2009 - comments {0} - post commentHyalescentHyalescent: Becoming translucent 1:31 PM - 12/16/2009 - comments {0} - post commentWhy Anyone Who Claims to be Pro-Life is LyingI was having one of my reflective moments which as we know usually means trouble, and I am not sure know just what it is that got me onto this topic, but here it is all the same. Upon reflection it has come to my attention that the entire Pro-Life argument can be brought down to a smoldering pile of rubble by simply deconstructing the rather unfortunate name they chose for themselves as "Pro-Lifers"
It is in fact impossible for any human being to be genuinely "pro-life." You can be anti-abortion, but that is really an altogether different beast than being pro-life, though I know must people do not take the time to really evaluate the meaning behind these phrases and terms and take the term pro-life to be synonymous with anti-abortion, they really do have completely different implications in their names.
Anyone who calls themselves pro-life is in fact by default proven to be a hypocrite.
One might wonder just how this is?
Well they do not call themselves pro-fetal life, or pro-unborn child life. They call themselves pro-life, this would encompass all life by the very nature of the statement. So they must be pro the right of any living creature to live. Anything that happens to be alive is by definition under the category of life. That ought to go without saying. And what right does a so called pro-lifer have to thus try to determine which form of life has more of a right of a right to live or has more value than another form of life? Who are they to put a value system upon another living creature based upon its size, appearance, intellect, cell structure, etc..in order to determine what should and shouldn't be given the divine right to live unharmed.
Hmmm....wait this is all sounding very familiar. In fact isn't that the entire basis of their argument? That another person does not have the right to judge the life of a fetus as being of less worth and value? And that the life the fetus should be protected and hast the divine right to live? That indeed another person, including its own mother does not have the right to end that life?
Now back to the fact that Pro-life, includes within it, all life forms, not just the life of a fetus, (they should have specified that), but Pro-fetus just does not sound as catch or as nice as Pro-life, but I digress. You should by now have a whiff of where this is going.
Anyone who claims to be Pro-life, on a daily basis in fact does the very thing they say they are against, take it upon themselves to judge the worth and value of other living creatures and judge of themselves what life forms should have a right to live and which do not, and they make those judgements based upon their own personal convenience and necessity, so they decide another living creature should no longer have the right to live if it would be of benefit to them in someway.
Even the most environmentally friendly, vegan Pro-lifer who has never consciously stepped on so much as an ant, has ingested something that was once a living creature of some form and they probably own something be it a piece of furniture, books, clothing etc... that was produced through the use of some sort of living organisms. (And of course this scenario is highly unlikely as lets be honest we all know that most pro-lifers are conservatives, and most Conservatives are not environmentalists)
In fact I would be willing to bet there are a percentage of pro-lifers that like to hunt and have stuffed deer heads on their walls.
Huh! I wonder where that fits into the pro-life equation? 12:21 AM - 12/14/2009 - comments {0} - post commentMy TotemMy Totem
Falcon:
far-seer
perched high above
with eyes that judge
weighing the landscape with care
proud in plumage and
regal posture
King of the Wind
unshamefully free.
Serpent:
transformitive power
seeking the secrets of darkness
held in balance between two worlds
deceptive but ill-deceived
whispering of knowledge concealed
caught between the suns power
and lunar lure
Fire Lord
flaring desire.
Arachnid:
weaver of dreams
cosmic Grandmother
capturing the stars in celestial web
purveyor of patience
awaiting upon untold truths
inspiring the bursting
ingenuity of the soul.
Wolf:
bound to the coven of the moon
hunters in the night
their song speaks of love
and speaks of pain
keeper of eternal wisdom
in their eyes quiet understanding
Masters of the Earth.
Crocodile:
savage independence
a force of sheer raw power
lying low with observant eyes
solitary contemplations
beneath rippling strength
and thick skins
a touch of tenderness rarely seen
shifting like the shades of a stream
Queen of the Dark Waters
coiled in ambition.
3:38 PM - 12/10/2009 - comments {0} - post commentThe One You Never Want but Always NeedThe One You Never Want but Always Need
Winter
is that girl you know
who is too much bone,
all hard elbows
and pointed knees,
she never quite sits right
and keeps bruising
your insides.
Her far away eyes
are not to be obtained
even when she pleads
you fear she will only
make you bleed.
A little too pale,
you never quite know
if she is pretty or not quite so;
a touch of the asymmetrical
with wide owl eyes,
an upturned nose,
and lips that could never
say no.
When she smiles it seems
to go on for days,
but there is a little
hard-edge, like knife blades.
She is the one
you know you must give up,
but she whispers your name
and before you can look away
you fall into her embrace,
left cut upon her angles,
only her laughter remains.
Once she has slipped
out the door
you know you will mourn;
dancing in the rain of her wake
when the sun glows
it is to the North
you turn your gaze.
4:38 PM - 12/8/2009 - comments {1} - post commentDark DaysDark Days
Memories of you of what you have been through of what once you were haunt me for the pain that you took away from those smoke-filled blood and fear days. Always between us this part of you forever beyond my reach, however much I strive I cannot reconstruct the ruins in your mind now filled with bad dreams. But you may feel me close my voice in your ear my presence surrounding you to try and ease away the echoes of gunshot that ring true with the skull-grins and dead eyes mocking through the sleepless nights. May my love burn like a candle flame through that darkness of your past which flash like photographs that will never fade away, but I will never cease with sweet kisses and words of comfort gentle touches to quiet those screams. 9:21 AM - 12/4/2009 - comments {0} - post commentWhat it means to be humanI have recently devoured The Road by Cormac McCarthy. A deliciously bleak novel, it is quite ironic in a way. There is much talk of this author and his works, and this novel has been made into film which is currently out in theaters as we speak. Well I have heard a lot of talk of this book and the strong impressions it has left upon readers and how many people love it, and while I did very much enjoy it as I was reading, I had not felt at the time of the reading of it that strong impact, and yet, it seems I cannot resist speaking of the book whenever I get the opportunity to do so. There is something about it which seems to seep slowly into the blood stream and make you think and turn it over in your mind even days after you have read it.
There is one point in particularly in which I wish to focus upon in the discussing of this novel. First to say a few things about it to set up the scene. It is set in this post-apocalyptic sort of setting, that is to say, that the world for all intent and purpose has come to an end, through means not outwardly stated, but alluding to nuclear warfare, now only a few scattered survivors reaming in this bleak gray world, food and resources are scarce.
Now, naturally, it should go without saying whenever you have a post-apocalyptic, world-end, anarchist type of setting, what is the one thing that is never missing from this scene?
Yes, of course, there has to be roving gangs of cannibals.
I personally find that in the given setting and conditions cannibals are rather unfairly portrayed. They are set up as the villains of the story, and demonized in various ways to make them appear to be completely deprived and nothing more than slaves to utter and complete uncontrolled and thoroughly unleashed carnality. They are portrayed in the most animalistic sense possible.
Of course this sort of thing does go back to such things as the Minotaur myth, and werewolf legends and other similar things. It is a playing upon that fear that has existed within man since the very earliest of what we consider to be "civilization" the fear that man has of that animal that does lurk inside of him. It is Jekyll and Hyde all over again. The old "what if" if man did let go of those things of which he thinks truly makes him human and sets him apart from the beasts.
The idea of what would happen if man reverted back to his natural instincts and let reason give way to that instinct. It was the Greeks who had first established the crucial importance of this idea of reason within man, and the need to set reason above all else and use it to control what is viewed as our baser impulses. It is reason that is believed to be the building block of society and civilization. But not too get too carried away with these archetypes and philosophical ideas, and to bring things back around to the initial point at hand. It is natural to understand why people would be given to such a strongly adverse reaction against cannibalism, it does go against what is considered to be natural.
Yet, considering the circumstances, in a world when all resemblance of civilization has collapsed, there is nothing left but the preservation of the self, and in fact it is only the logical and natural progression when all other food sources have been so several depleted to turn to the only other available food source. It may seem gruesome and morbid, and there are some whom might argue that in such a world to hold onto ones "humanity" is the only thing left. But to help others see through my eyes a bit at least to understand where I come from upon this point, and what may appear to be my abnormal acceptance of cannibalism, from my perspective man is not a superior species and does not have some special right to live more so than any other living creature, thus from where I sit, there is in truth little difference between killing of an animal for ones sustainability and killing of a human for the same purpose. I do not view the human life of more value the life of any other living creature.
So if a person would be willing to eat the flesh of another animal, there is no reason why they should not also be willing to feed upon the flesh of another man. Cannibals are not horrible monsters that have somehow become perverse or vile, or something near demonic. They are self-preservationists, and that is in fact a very natural and in fact logical human characteristic.
11:49 PM - 12/2/2009 - comments {0} - post comment
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For though All are not able to write books, all conceive themselves able to judge them. ~The Monk
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