Wednesday, January 2 - its a new year ...
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its been awhile, and id like to thank my friends here for the support and advices that you give me. i greatly appreciate it

 

so many things had happened recently and i actually dont have someone to talk to nor share it with... two of my uncles found out about my condition last christmas, one of them was visiting a friend that told him because he had overheard my brother during one of his drinking spree slurring that i was a disgrace because i had been impregnated by my boyfriend and it was such a crap, i have my own problems with my brother and to hear that he's using me as a reason why he is always drunk made me so angry that i dont talk to him anymore. though we live in the same house and i even we are in the same room in the same time, i dont talk to him, i just watch the tv or continue with my cross stitching. now, i know the reason why he was slurring smugly the othe night about someone being the favorite of the uncles and look what had happened. i now know that he was referring to me, and how he had brodcasted to all his drinking buddies his own weaved version of my condition just to earn their sympathy.

 

my third uncle called up at new year's eve midnight to ask if what he heard was true. saying that after attending the midnight mass he met a distant cousin of mine who told him of my condition. all this time i was quietly resting inside our house only to find out that my brother has already told so many people of a version that he only knew. i feel so sorry for him but then for him to act as if i am such a disgrace and the reason why he is acting rebelliously.

 

i know i need to rent a place of my own after this, i dont want my child to grow up in a house full of hostility and pain. i just hope i have the courage to be on my own.

 

IStarr

 

 

 

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a new life ahead ... still alone ...


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