At the very beginning of brightness
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10/1/2005
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I can't deny that I have good impressions on him, but I didn't tell anyone.
The guy I talked about last time, has been friends with me since a week before. (We shall call him E.) Things went on and became complicated, or we'd better say that we didn't find it complicated until last week.
As we get know to each other, we go close to each other. And I asked him to be my brother, he surely couldn't agree more. Then once when we talked about our study, we found that we could help each other with our work. So I promised to help him with his English while he promised to help me with my physics. Obviously we get on fine.
You know he has already had a GF(girl friend). I realized the strange light in his GF's eyes every time I saw her. And she seemed not so happy. What was the matter? He's so careless that he didn't tell his GF that he's been my brother. He didn't know that he should have told his GF about that. My mum gave me a caution of that during a lunch meal after I told her something about E. Then I immediately left a note to E and asked him to explain the relationship between we two. I knew he loves his GF very deeply. I never want to break up his love. He couldn't lose his GF! That evening after our self-study classes, he explained to his GF at once. I was getting cold feet. I was afraid that his GF had misunderstood us and was angry with E. I was unsettled until I recieved a line from E. He told me that she DIDN'T misunderstood anything.
I was really happy then. I used all the words I could find to described my excitment.
'I felt the desire to cry now...'he dropped several words to me later on.
What happened?!
His GF was very unhappy though she didn't misunderstand. She didn't reply him after they said good night to each other. He felt depressed. I knew it was my fault. She mind my close being with E. Isn't it? I taught him how to make apology to his GF. We didn't go to bed until 12:00p.m. I felt guilty, so I think over to help him to restore with his GF.
These days, E told me his GF's given the cold shoulder to him.
I felt even guilty. I intended to asked E to stop to help me with my physics. But I didn't present these words 'cause he said he promised to help me with my work, so he won't let me down.
I can't deny that I have a good impression on him though I didn't tell anyone. Still, I don't want to break up he and his GF. I want them be happy, live happily!!!
Now what should I do to deal with this problem? I mean how to help E to restore his love emotion with his GF. I want their love being fine.I want them to get on well with each other.
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9/10/2005
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problems in my love emotion field
I found a big problem in my love imotion field.
You know, I am now in a new class, a science class. Boys could always do a better job in science subjects than girls do. I initiatively went meet a guy who I had heard of him all the time. Everything I'd heard of him had been good. As he was so good at maths and physics, I became more interested at him. On a Tuesday afternoon, I stayed in school and had the self-study class. Then I went up to him and asked him to help me to solve some maths problems. He taught me gently and my heart beated quickly afterwards. Meanwhile, I thought of one of my good friends, a really gentle guy. His behavior acted so alike my friend's. I started to have good impressions on him. But I would not allow myself to have such good impressions on him 'cause he had had a girlfriend.
I think myself easily fall in love with guys who have had girlfriends. That is not a good behavior. Last time is Kop. And this time is a guy in my class. I don't want to be 'the third person' in people's love. btw,What do the English sperkers call that 'the third person'?
I had a little dream this morning. I met a guy in my dream. I went travelling with him and we had a really happy vacation which was full of adventures. It is just a dream, now let it slide away.
I am still a student.
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8/27/2005
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awful day
an email to someone-
It was really awful this afternoon in school. Goddamnit! I was just pet angry, I could hardly be cool. Somebody, a dirty dick, the monitor in our reformed class, who's been jealous of me since a year before, 'punished' me cheerfully this afternoon. Since all the seats must be arranged again this week, she separate I and my good friend. All the seats were arranged by her 'cause she's the monitor. Primarily, my good friend and I were seatmates.
I was the secretary of our school league branch, you know. Then the monitor, used to be my subordinate over last year. She's jealous of my ability and my outstanding act in class. She never smiles to me whenever she meets me though I used to say hello to her every time I meet her. So this time, she absolutely would not miss the chance to 'punish' me, she separate me and my good friends, then adjust me to be seatmates with two really introverted girls, I never know about them before.
That monitor, SOB! Actually, the teacher wanted to make several other students monitor but not her, then no one wanted to be a monitor, so the teacher had no other choose and let her be the monitor.
I think you won't be bothered if I tell you such thing in school. So I dare to tell you about this matter 'cause I know you would understand me. Don't worry. I am just feeling better now. Saying out this awful stuff makes me calm. And I want you to know that I was not meant to make you worried about me.
I am better now. Tomorrow is another day. Nice things will come following. And I wish all the best wishes and luck to you. Hope you're fine these days.
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7/15/2005
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Now Being With ^,^
I haven't sign in Journal Home for a long time till yesterday I got an e-mail from Journal Home. It said that someone leave a message for me after my logs. I am curious. Then I went on and see. I was quite touched that M said that she hoped Mary would write to me soon. So now I want to say thanks to M.
Everything goes fine with me recently except ... Mary hasn't contact me yet. I think I should still wait for Mary's tidings as another friend Miles didn't call me as well. Mary just graduates from high school. She's going to university. And Miles seems to move up to a private high school far from his home. They must be both busy.
Luckily, Kenneth received my present the day before his birthday. He was very surprised. He said that it was the first present he got this birthday and he hoped that he wouldn't miss my birthday. He invited me to have a chat with him on the Internet one time when he's free. I was also surprised to get this invitation. ( We're making a time to meet and chat these days. ) I was also very happy, of course. Then he asked what date is my birthday. I was a little unhappy of this question cos I had told him before. That was the second time he asked. But finally I told him again.
And now I keep in touch with Knneth all the time. He just got his car liscense and a second-hand car. He cleaned and waxed the car himself for the last owner of this car wasn't a neat man. We talked about everything. And he quite respect me as he would ask me whether some topics we could talk at first, for example, politics. Like making a time, he asked me to tell him a time that is OK for me and he'll try to make it as the time difference is 15 hours.
I also talk with Allly, she's a high school math teacher. She's also a Chinese. She teaches in the school where Kennth's in. She's a kind girl. Why do I say that she's a girl? I think she looks very young.
I miss Mary, even now. Once I drink Wong Lao Kat Herbal Tea, I'll think of her. The first time I drink this tea is with Mary. My mum bought bottles of this tea for we two for that period of time was very hot. And that evening we didn't drink up the whole bottle of tea. My family and Mary went ut for a night meal. My family love Mary very much.
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6/8/2005
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I am perplexed
I haven't heard from Mary for a long time, two weeks. I don't know why didn't she write to me. We connect with each other by emails. To be honest, it is only I, write emails. I was waiting for her on msn yeterday afternoon. I know she didn't go to bed. I was reading a novel at the computer table. I was lost in the story. When I came to myself and checked my msn whether Mary had come back, I found that Mary had gone.
I am wondering if I am a boring girl. I love Mary, That's the love of friendship. I am very happy to hear from her. But why don't she send massenges to me? I've sent several emails to her since she went back to America. But she didn't reply me. I met her on msn several times right after she went back to America. And we talked with each other happily.
What happened? I don't know. Tell me why.
I care for Mary. I promissed her to teach her Chinese this summer. She had exams not long ago. And during that time, she always worked late at night. I told her take care of herself.
I sent her the art photos. I don't know if she has recieved them. And did she get the letters I sent her?
My dear Mary, hope to hear from you.
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