To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. Dad's back to his od ways again. I would've thought that the pain would make him quit. Was I naïve to think that? 5 ½ months. Forever for me was just a freaking phase to him. When mom told me the other night, I didn't quite have faith in her words. But then I saw it with my own eyes last night. My heart plummeted to the ground as I saw the lighted cigarette in his hand yet I somehow managed to give him a smile. I grew up used to seeing him do these that even though they were slowly eating me apart, I still accepted them. But this is just insane. He knows the consequences very well now yet he came back to it. I don't want him to suffer; I don't want him to die. Is that a selfish thing?