1/10/2007
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shall i go on...
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"I can't take this anymore." Missy decided. "I will not take this anymore." No one likes to feel abandoned, ignored, alone. No one was paying attention to her. Mother was always wrapped up in her own world, focused on her new husband, forgetting the ones under her wing, who were now getting drenched from the downpour outside. The new husband was something else. He had his nice moments, but he was nothing but an overgrown kid who couldn't see past himself and his own wants and desires. He was the last person fit to be a father. Missy wiped the tears from her eyes and stared at her arms, scars decorated her wrist. They were futile attempts to get some attention, to get someone to notice she was in pain. No one could tell, no one really cared. This was not the life she wanted. This was not the life she needed. How can a person thrive and grow where she is constantly beaten down. It was always a game to win. Mother always had to have the last word, and she could never stick to her word. Inside, Missy was falling apart and she couldn't understand why. Why was she feeling like this? What had all of a sudden turned a bubbly girl into a sad one. Why when she looked in the mirror all she could see was a deep darkness in those brown eyes? Why did it hurt to look at herself? Why did it hurt to breathe, Why couldn't she have the same relationship she used to have with her mother? What had she done to deserve this crumbling world? Missy Shrugged it off, "Whatever," She pulled out her black eyeliner and sharpened the pencil. This is how she would hide her eyes. The eyes are a window to the soul, that was the one thing that no one would ever get close to. No one had earned to see inside. You see, it is hard for someone to look past the darkness. This is what kept people out. They were afraid to go any farther. She slid on a handful of bracelets, added mascara and a touch of lip gloss and was out the door to go to school. "I want to be in love," Savanna said with a skip, her long blonde hair bounced around her face. "I want the kind of love that makes you one of those crazy people, you know what I mean?" Like Romeo and Juliet, the two star crossed lovers that died for thier love. I want someone who will die for me!" Savanna giggled at the thought. "Don't we all." Missy said back, watching savanna as her blue eyes searched the skies, as if looking for an answer. She shrugged, but the smile did not leave her face. "It's just a dream, a fantasy." Missy said. "Don't be such a glum," Savanna said shoving Missy. "What do you always tell me? Never give up hope. Hope is always there." Missy smiled and shoved savanna back. "Brat," Missy said tugging a piece of her hair. Savanna squeeled and pushed her away. Soon enough the two were laughing at eachother. Once at school the girls were off to the morning routine. First stop was the bathroom, to stare in the mirror, apply more lip gloss and talk abot how "fat" they were. It was interesting what you could see in the school mirror. You could see glimpses into other lives, a glimpse of thier souls..... shall i go on? yes or no |
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