Driving away from my troubles and sacrifices, I felt a new freedom. There is something about driving to a new adventure that brings a combination of emotions. My thoughts were a blur and one relieved another. People who say that one can only think one thought at a time haven’t been inside my head when there are lots of things going on. I definitely can think more than one thought at a time and this was one of those times. My directions were clear and I made it to my destination without any problems on the way. There is nothing much to say about the trip at all and I honestly don’t remember very much besides stopping once at one of the fast food places to use the restroom. Finally, I arrived and looked around, scanning in the place where I was going to be for the next couple of weeks. I do remember checking in and being asked not to bring meat on the grounds because they all practice a vegetarian life style. I hadn’t thought about it all but I had two bags of spicy Buffalo Jerky in my car and wasn’t allowed to bring it into my private room so I had to hide it in my car and pretend that it didn’t exist.

The course started the following day so the first day I was all on my own. In the dining hall I met a woman who was also from the same city as me and we started talking. She arrived to the ashram just a couple of minutes before I did and I remembered seeing her getting out of her car when I drove up and parked. We sat on the floor and ate and I saw another face that I recognized as well. This other woman who I had randomly met a few years earlier was there as well for a different program. There is something comforting seeing faces that are familiar although I didn’t really even know her. When I went to bed that night I knew that things were going to be just fine in spite of the sadness and the questions and the blur of thoughts in my head.

The next day we all met at the designated classroom and I looked around at the other people in the class who I was to spend the next week with. It’s a funny thing to watch people and the judgments that I make depending upon how they look. We got started immediately after we had all introduced ourselves. There were so many things to remember and so many new things to learn in regards to the poses and the body and in what order we were supposed to learn the massage. Frankly, I found that when I  thought about it too much I got stuck and couldn’t remember a thing but those times when I didn’t think about it at all but trusted that my hands and my body would remember, I had no trouble at all. My hands knew what to do and how to touch in a healing way. As the day progressed, I realized along with the other students that this was going to be pretty intense. The schedule went on all day and after dinner we were allowed to practice, which almost all of us did. Therefore, by the time I returned to my room it was almost eleven at night and I was exhausted. Wow, this was not really how I had imagined it. I thought there would be time during the days for hiking and yoga classes etc but we had no extra time for anything.

The day basically looked like this. I got up early in the morning and showered. The mornings were a little chilly although the sun was already up revealing the beautiful day to come. Breakfast was served between a certain time and it was oatmeal, steamed prunes, sometimes a seven grain warm cereal and then the fruits and the yoghurt table. Class began as soon as breakfast was over and we began reviewing what we had learned and practiced the day before. There were so many names of poses to remember and so many details of how to stand, how to hold, how to move and so on that at some point during that week we all had out moments of frustration. Bottom line for me was that I absolutely loved it in spite of being tired at times and frustrated when I didn’t remember which pose follow which and so on. Every day gave me an outlet for healing from my past and the recent events. A big portion of why it was healing for me was that there was so much giving every day in giving massages to people several times per day. It was impossible for me to be in my head spinning when there was so much hands on practice. The emotional hurt dissipated a little every day and the questions became fewer every day. They were replaced by the miracle of healing that took place every time I put my hands on one of the other students. This was natural to me and I know people have told me for many years that I should do something that involves my hands because I have good hands. I found that when I let me hands guide me, I intuitively knew and could feel whenever I hit a spot or a sore point. This was absolutely a gift from above to be able to take a course like that and love almost every moment of it.