Driving away from my troubles and sacrifices, I felt a new freedom. There is something about driving to a new adventure that brings a combination of emotions. My thoughts were a blur and one relieved another. People who say that one can only think one thought at a time haven’t been inside my head when there are lots of things going on. I definitely can think more than one thought at a time and this was one of those times. My directions were clear and I made it to my destination without any problems on the way. There is nothing much to say about the trip at all and I honestly don’t remember very much besides stopping once at one of the fast food places to use the restroom. Finally, I arrived and looked around, scanning in the place where I was going to be for the next couple of weeks. I do remember checking in and being asked not to bring meat on the grounds because they all practice a vegetarian life style. I hadn’t thought about it all but I had two bags of spicy Buffalo Jerky in my car and wasn’t allowed to bring it into my private room so I had to hide it in my car and pretend that it didn’t exist.

The course started the following day so the first day I was all on my own. In the dining hall I met a woman who was also from the same city as me and we started talking. She arrived to the ashram just a couple of minutes before I did and I remembered seeing her getting out of her car when I drove up and parked. We sat on the floor and ate and I saw another face that I recognized as well. This other woman who I had randomly met a few years earlier was there as well for a different program. There is something comforting seeing faces that are familiar although I didn’t really even know her. When I went to bed that night I knew that things were going to be just fine in spite of the sadness and the questions and the blur of thoughts in my head.

The next day we all met at the designated classroom and I looked around at the other people in the class who I was to spend the next week with. It’s a funny thing to watch people and the judgments that I make depending upon how they look. We got started immediately after we had all introduced ourselves. There were so many things to remember and so many new things to learn in regards to the poses and the body and in what order we were supposed to learn the massage. Frankly, I found that when I  thought about it too much I got stuck and couldn’t remember a thing but those times when I didn’t think about it at all but trusted that my hands and my body would remember, I had no trouble at all. My hands knew what to do and how to touch in a healing way. As the day progressed, I realized along with the other students that this was going to be pretty intense. The schedule went on all day and after dinner we were allowed to practice, which almost all of us did. Therefore, by the time I returned to my room it was almost eleven at night and I was exhausted. Wow, this was not really how I had imagined it. I thought there would be time during the days for hiking and yoga classes etc but we had no extra time for anything.

The day basically looked like this. I got up early in the morning and showered. The mornings were a little chilly although the sun was already up revealing the beautiful day to come. Breakfast was served between a certain time and it was oatmeal, steamed prunes, sometimes a seven grain warm cereal and then the fruits and the yoghurt table. Class began as soon as breakfast was over and we began reviewing what we had learned and practiced the day before. There were so many names of poses to remember and so many details of how to stand, how to hold, how to move and so on that at some point during that week we all had out moments of frustration. Bottom line for me was that I absolutely loved it in spite of being tired at times and frustrated when I didn’t remember which pose follow which and so on. Every day gave me an outlet for healing from my past and the recent events. A big portion of why it was healing for me was that there was so much giving every day in giving massages to people several times per day. It was impossible for me to be in my head spinning when there was so much hands on practice. The emotional hurt dissipated a little every day and the questions became fewer every day. They were replaced by the miracle of healing that took place every time I put my hands on one of the other students. This was natural to me and I know people have told me for many years that I should do something that involves my hands because I have good hands. I found that when I let me hands guide me, I intuitively knew and could feel whenever I hit a spot or a sore point. This was absolutely a gift from above to be able to take a course like that and love almost every moment of it.

It really began when I was looking for a job and by chance walked into one of the gyms downtown.  All I wanted was a PT job at a gym so that I could have access to one without paying the painful monthly costs of belonging to one. Interestingly, they had a FT position open at the front desk and I took it since I was fresh out of college and looking for a job anyway. After one week I had observed the Fitness Trainers at the gym and knew that I was more interested in that than wasting away at the front desk. After a conversation with the Fitness Manager, I realized that I could do what they did. Before long I was a Pro Trainer at the gym, loving my job and having so much fun training clients and talking exercises, diets, nutrition and healthy lifestyles with them, among other personal things.

For various reasons I ended up leaving and working for a while with personal training somewhere else and figuring out what I wanted to do next. After a move and a few other changes, I got started taking yoga classes at one of the local studios. That’s where the idea of maybe becoming a Yoga Instructor was born. For a long time I thought I didn’t like yoga at all not knowing that there are different types of yoga and the instructor is important. Yoga has so many benefits to it though, that I thought it worthwhile a second chance.

A few sessions later and a different instructor, I really did seriously contemplate becoming a Yoga Instructor. I spoke with my instructor and also began researching studios and TT programs in the area and how much it would cost. Another important aspect for me was how long it would potentially take before I had my required hours. During my research last year, looking at different applications and studio program requirements, I received a catalog in the mail from a local retreat place. I opened the catalog and the first page I opened up showed that they offered two courses in Thai Yoga Massage. It just clicked. That’s what I want to do! I called my friend and told her about it and that it would be great to be able to go but I wasn’t sure that my job would agree with me taking that much time off. Planning out some logistics and costs, I talked with my boss at the time, who agreed that if it wouldn’t interfere with the project I was in charge of, I could go. From there I tackled the next bullet point on my to do list. Unfortunately, it was not without sacrifices that I ended up being able to go but everything worked out so that I found a place to move into before I had to leave for the course. Excited and sad, I packed my bags, loaded up the car with what I could possibly need during the time I was going to be gone and started driving. It was almost like the movies when one of the characters in pursuit of their goals leaves everything behind to start anew. A little surreal how fast things happened but at the same time with a sense of everything happens for a reason.