CONCERNING BEING ANDTHE EXQUISITE NECESSITY OF SUFFERING

         CONCERNING BEING AND THE EXQUISITE

NECESSITY OF SUFFERING

I

When a person has lived most of his life not accepting the possibility that God exists in any form and then they struggle with the desire to believe that He does in some way his life becomes a world of new conflicts and challenges in regards explanations and reasons. A new category of questions emerges and he is forced, against his will, to try and define a thing he once argued was indefinable. There is no choice. Evil must be attempted to be explained now with a God in the background of it all. Does life continue or cease after death? How can he be sure of anything he thinks and has an opinion on regarding what is indefinable?

II

If you are driven to believe in God then you are consequently driven to give to God a character, a nature. You have are forced into assigning God attributes that seem dubious. How can I ever be sure that the attributes I assign to God are not simply the attributes I want God to have? If I say God is forgiving and merciful on what basis do I rest that argument. Not to say there are not brilliant arguments to give to support any statement we can make about God, but how can I ever be 100% certain that the conclusion I have reached is not tainted, poisoned by own limited intellect, my own corruptions and desires.

III

If I say God is a forgiving and merciful God, maybe all I am saying is that I want a God that will be forgiving and merciful with me. The whole situation becomes problematic for me. If God is merciful then will He not simply bestow mercy on me, or do I have to do something... jump though some burning hoop of fire... to receive that mercy? How can I, or anyone, be 100% certain that they have not erred and jumped through the wrong hoop? Some people have an absolute degree of certainty about their position, that the hoops they are leaping through are the correct ones. But if two people are diametrically opposed in their positions how can they both be right even if they are both 100% certain that they are correct? How can you verify the unknowable? Some people will argue that the unknowable can be known. If not with absolute accuracy they will say that they have concluded that 2+2=5, which is closer to the Truth than saying 2+2=8. But when speaking of God no one can truly make the claim that 2+2=4. You would have to be God Himself to make such a claim.

I want a God who is merciful and who will forgive me, or I want a system at least wherein there is some concept of redemption. A system where my life can be changed and I can become a new thing. But I ask with exhaustion, how can I know that the system is truly this thing, and that it is not simply this thing because I want it to be? Simply because I want or need God to exist does not bring a nonexistent God suddenly into being. So I am pinned on the horns of a dilemma. I can choose to simply believe in a God or a system of redemption for no other reason than I am driven to believe out of human despair and hope that in believing I find some consolation and comfort. Or I can choose to not believe and free myself of all the doubts belief generates (though not believing does not mean not doubting, else why would I have chosen to believe?) Yet, in not believing I am forced to accept the Universe as a cold and brute fact, and not thing possibly possessed of a higher and more sublime purpose.

V

2:09 PM - 12/8/2005 - post comment

god

I like that painting at the top. I like the roman numerals. I like the title of the piece and the font....The whole thing looks really cool.

Anonymous - 6:15 PM - 12/8/2005

The God I know.

Your blog seems to question the existence,or the attributes of God, and seems to come from one who would like to find a settled idea of God. I believe in the God of the Bible, the one and only true God, invisible, almighty, all knowing, holy beyond our wildest ideas, all powerful, just and upright, yet a creater who loves his creatures, (including you and me) so much that in order to lift us from the ordinary and bring us into a close loving relationship with Himself, became a man (Jesus) so that by a sacrificial death, and a glorious resurrection, He might offer eternal life to all who will trust in Jesus Christ alone. See John chapters 1, and 3

jimmymac - 6:55 AM - 12/14/2005