Lately it has been so cold in Beijing. Still not able to shake this cold. It has been almost three weeks. I am looking at the blog and the direct directions it has been taking. It is okay with me that this is happening although I am thinking of starting another blog, one that can focus on more serious writing and the practice of trying to write down thoughts in a detailed manner. I find the thing I can the least is really write about my daily life in an interesting way. I mean, how can I really do that? I am not so about to sit here and say I am going to keep some totally honest blog, and reveal my every thought and emotion, and discuss everything that I do in detail. I have been to some blog sites like that seem to take this approach... the "true confessions" approach and found them so lacking in real depth I was bored immediately. I do not see what a challenge it would be for me to lay out my sordid and dismal behaviors, or to rant endlessly about the shortcomings of my co-workers, friends or lover. I guess for some people this is all they have, this detailed description of all that is surface and superficial. It seems so... modern America. Not to say such writing does not have its place and value, and if well written it can be great. Henry Miller and Anais Nin made careers from such styles. But, I read some site about a gal who is desperate to get pregnant and she had a post on the various colors of her menstrual blood. It had been purple the week before and now it was a creamy red and she was all worried over her baby dream being compromised. She seemed to have no desire for a boyfriend or husband and any sperm donor would be suitable. I just could not see what the point of it all was. Not to say my site has a point, it does not. But is that really honesty? Is that what people see as being honest is all about? To try and simply shock the reader and in the process show yourself to be a "brave" person... brave here being the type of brave that defines a woman who had her picture taken without make-up early in the morning and then shows everyone the picture. Is that what brave now?
Went out last night with Ivy and a teacher friend P_____ from NY met his friend M_____ from LA. We went and had pizza and I had some drinks but not too many. Enough to warm me in the cold and subdue my cough for a couple hours. We went to a small smoky club where there were poetry readings and performances, but I was not much in the right mood. I was tired and my head hurt from my cold. There was too much cigarette smoke and it was a bit too loud. Normally I would get something out of an event like that but I left feeling sick and weak. It was all strange really to be honest, and I feel not my cup of tea really. Too many people trying so hard to be artsy and different and unique. It was like some of the scene in Seattle really that I grew cynical towards. Maybe I am getting old and jaded is all. I would go back sure and try, and hopefully be in better health and more receptive to it all. Maybe someday participate in a reading, who knows.
Ivy is on the sofa drawing away. She ahs been drawing so much lately and it is getting better and better. Some of stuff is appearing on her blog site and I will put some on my photo logs soon. I need to edit them someday, my photo logs. I am not drawing at all. Nothing, even thought the supplies she is using is supplies I bought for myself. There is something to that, but if I go into now it will just sound like one of those true confession bullshit blogs I was just crying about...so I will save that topic for another day.
5:43 PM - 12/11/2005 -
this is taryn
Hi Bill,
this is taryn from http://www.journalhome.com/taryn
I'm very pleasantly surprised that there are readers who actually read long posts like mind especially when I hardly write very sensational stuff (am a geek at heart:).
I haven't fully explored your site but I read the latest 2 posts.
I see why you wonder about the way bloggers choose to portray themselves. There are a number of friends I have who are very 'artsy' too and they write about very interesting/weird things and I enjoy reading them- even if such posts don't have an immediate impact on the world or themselves. If they are strangers I will just assume that it's their cyber identity I'm acquainted with. If they are friends I get to see a side of their public self, like the kind of things they choose publish about themselves and the way they go about it. Sometimes, there is simply too much going on in the real world to make it seem real on the virtual world. I suppose confessional publishing works like a purge at times, it goes out into the internet, round the world and it comes back to confront you. I realized that even when we feel and write pretentious stuff (or things blown out of proportion), nothing we ever do is ever all fake or all true. It takes some experience to write fiction right? ;)
I am trying to develop an interest too, something that i would like to cultivate when i'm not a geek ;>
Anonymous - 10:53 PM - 12/11/2005
Share and enjoy
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