!. Excuse me Mr. and Mrs. Blue Hair, do you realize the sign posted on the highway reading 65MPH means no one under 65 is supposed to be on the highway? GET OUT OF THE DAMN FAST LANE!

2. So Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie are adopting a child. It's all the rage in the news and on magazine covers. And this affects my world how? People obsessed with the "stars" need to get a life.

3. Last but not least: I am sick and tired of inanimate objects thinking they can invade my world and get away with it. I keep running my thigh into the corner of the table when I get up in the middle of the night for a drink of water. The next time it happens I am going to burn the table in effigy and roast hot dogs over its demise. It needs to get out of my way.