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6/3/2007 - Relapse

Posted in Unspecified

Life is good. Really, it is. Hectic, but very, very hectic, but good. Junior is a crawling, drooling bundle of joy, and St. Hubby remains Saint-like. The Almighty Junester (my mom) is doing well. Work is not driving me too crazy. Caffeine consumption is waaaaaaaay down.

Until.

Turns out I am just 3 short on-line classes from my bachelor's degree. I actually thought I had completed the thing 10 years ago, but that was during my unfortunate union with the practice husband, a.k.a. Earl/Sleeping with the Enemy/Asshole. Seems as though my final degree got lost in the chaos of court papers, restraining orders, selling the house, etc. So now I am trying to become an honest woman and finish this damn degree.

It's actually kind of cute, really. St. Hubby and I have a new version of "date night" - after we put Junior to bed, we go into the computer room and sit in our little corners, while he works on his Master's and I work on my BSN. We blow each other kisses and ask each other "what's another word for promulgate?" and stuff like that.

So I am feeling pretty good that we have struck a balance between this work/baby/home/military and now school life. I'm sure the people at no-doze have seen their stocks plummet. An occasional cup of tea, but other wise, I am pretty darned near caffeine-free.

Fast forward to (or is that rewind?) this past Friday night. Junior is sleeping, and I proudly kiss St. H goodbye as he heads off for his military duty for the next 48 hours. He is worried; he hates when I have to go it alone (I have a few medical issues going on, but that's another blog) but I tell him I will be fine. I am looking forward to one of my all-time, hands-down favorite pre-baby activities: reading crap during the commercials of watching crap. Off he goes, handsome as ever.

For some reason, before I settle in with my crap-on-crap and an early night's sleep, I feel the need to double check my school assignments. Earlier, while St. H had Junior in the bath, I had posted my portion of the group assignment as well as my homework. I'm feeling pretty sassy. People magazine, What Not to Wear, and the bed are calling me. Heaven.

Gulp.

What in the stinkin' hell do you mean I have an individual assignment, an 8 page paper no less, due tomorrow?!?! How the hell did I miss that?!? How the..? What the...?

It is 8:30 p.m. It's one-on-one with the teething again Junior for the next 48 hours. My uterus, which could be located by GPS, is once again not cooperating and I am bleeding like a stuck pig. And this paper is due, no question about it. I have no choice. With the shame of a crack whore just having to have it, I reach for the No-doze. Wash it down with a diet peach snapple. Take one more at 11 p.m. Stay up 'til one a.m. cranking out this bullshit paper. Junior wakes up at two a.m. No worries - although now in bed, I wasn't asleep, as my heart is tripping like a jackhammer -- I am like a hummingbird on speed.

Junior wakes at 5 a.m. My pleas for mercy to God, Allah and Buddah go unanswered - he does not fall back asleep. You guessed it. Reached for the no-doze. Was at Starbuck's by 6:15. Thank heavens I don't like or drink colas - or I would never come back down.

Now it's Sunday. I am one no-doze, one excedrin, and one gynormous cup of chai tea in. But the count down is on. St. Hubby should be arriving home in about 8 more hours.

And then the painful re-weaning process can begin all over again.

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