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Shadow Writing

Ahhhh Me..

I'm a forgiving sack of tears if ever I saw one. The coworker who had that emtoional thrombosis a few weeks back after we talked about my schedule seems to want to play nice again. I was impressed by the fact that she came to my desk to conversate as usual, knowing I didn't have a lift tonight.

You can't help but admire the ones that come by without needing anything from you. That's rarer than it sounds.

Everyone's been asking about our new hire, a gentleman I've gotten very close to in the past few weeks. I have an official "trainee", a young man who I am personally educating to fill my shoes.

To date, he's assisted me in doing what I do for 10 nights and he's terrified. lol

He keeps insisting this is a 2-man shift, and telling me that I'll be by his side a LONG time based upon all that he needs to understand. I've expressed that I believe the anti-Christ (my loving term for my manager) is trying to replace me, not give me a helper. It was one of those very touching "soon you'll have to stand on your own, grasshopper" type speeches. "It was a two-man shift only 4 years ago," I said, grinning calmly, "..but no one else wanted it, so it is now a one WOMAN shift, my good man.."

Then I put my hand on his shoulder.."You'll be fine," I said. "There is no teacher like hands-on repetition to nauseum". lol

Well, that's whatcha' get for ten years of devoted service on your department's least desirable shift. You get told your schedule is changing for no apparent reason, whether you can handle it or not.

Ahhh me. Said I to my visitor.

Before coworker could open her mouth and put her foot in it like she did the last time, I leaned forward as if I were about to say something momentous. The promise of juicy info always shuts a person right up in mid-sentence, and I saw a smile cross her face and the eyes light up.

"If you know what you're doing, it hardly matters what shift you're on and I'm about as qualified as they get...I come to work. Doesn't matter what I do. That's why I don't sit there and whine when other people's work somehow makes it to my desk. I consider it a service that makes my time go faster. Whose work or what work isnn't important. When I'm on the clock, I've got everyone's back here..and they know it, even that ever-hating manager of mine. I'm there for her too...she just hasn't figured that out yet." Then I laughed, much to my coworker's vexed horror. lol

"The anti-Christ is jumpy about her usefulness around here, because there are a lot of things she hasn't chosen to understand..."

Sure, it sounded like I was taking sides, but I never say anything I don't sincerely believe..and I don't believe anything rock solid demonstrative proof hasn't convinced me of. I saunter in like an old housecat, sit my ass at my desk and juggle 3 lines, 2 Nextels, and talk to the sales rep next to me while eating a slice of pizza almost everyday. (Well, sometimes it's Chinese food) I'm used to the circus and it's effortless work for me. Hell, I think I'd need a labatomy if I had to cover reception and sit there staring straight ahead all day. I was designed for chaos.

Truth be told, all the knowledge in the world still will never make you indispensable. I'm thankful that I'm not in McDonalds with a college degree in my back pocket asking, "Do you want fries with that?" I wouldn't consider what I do a career, but it's reputable and I'm relaxed, respected and comfy..

"So I'm humble," I said, "...Is it so terrible that I'm not emotional when it comes to my job? When she's nailing us to the wall with useless and knit-picky demands and restrictions I am happy to oblige my manager. I think it irks her. I think she wants me to protest, argue, be generally disagreeable like many of us have been and I continue to do my job with a smile."

"I irk her...I irk her by being me."

Dammit, I know I conduct operations like I own the place, but I'm not trying to be cocky. I've been running and troubleshooting flawlessly for a decade here..How can this job not be second nature to me? I'm at ease. Where's the challenge?

Gee, my coworker had a sweet smile. It was about time I saw it. lol With white teeth all ablaze she retorted, "Just make sure you don't budge on this. The shift still needs to be covered. Why not by the person who's always done it, when no one else wanted it..?"

I shrugged.."Don't know. She says these are the changes she wants..I say you don't fix something if it isn't broken A few months from now this guy'll bow out and when she tells me to reaarange my life again, it ain't gonna' happen..."

"I'll tell ya, I'd love to sit this woman on a needle loaded with truth serum and ask her what her real motives are for all of this." I said, winking one eye closed. I can just hear her now....

"I'm miserable, THAT'S why, and it makes me feel good when I know I can make everybody else miserable too....DUH!"