Mom's the Man

I rely wayyy too much on protocol.

I might not be pro-anarchist like some of my friends, but I am repulsed by the idea of coloring inside the lines, of drab tan suits and, more than anything, of automated voicemail.  Arggghhhhhhh!!!  

......... (composes myself)

In relation to the latter, I'm trying to do my taxes online this year for the very first time. Ever. Call me a reformed traditionalist, but I've always believed your taxes are something that should be done on paper, in trusty non-erasable ink and mailed to the IRS via uniformed United States foot messenger. 

Yep.

It was mom who talked me into trying something new this year, noting my infamous April 15th sprint to the post office.

The same night I clicked send, I went to bed with the same strange feeling a woman  has when she tries to leave the house without her oversized hobo purse. We all vow to do it someday-to drop the ten ton, urban hiking fatiques we don every day and float through the city with nothing but a metrocard, our housekey and lunch money, free as a concrete forest faery...

Then we spend the rest of the day leaping out of our skin at any given moment.."Oh my God, where did I leave my purse"?!?!?! 

"Oh, wait.."  (Shew!)  **Smacks self.   

Anywho, I felt as if..something were missing. Where was that back ache I always get from being bent over paperwork for an hour and a half?  Where was that tension behind my eyes from crunching tiny little printed numbers? Where were the sleepless, anxious nights of wondering if my letter made it to its destination okay? 

Or had the postman been attacked by a mongrel? Would I spend months waiting for my check only to find that it had long ago made it through the digestive track of a pitbull and been pooper scooped instead of delivered?!?

All of that was missing, replaced by a few new elements I wasn't used to.  Like an email confirmation that my info. had made it to the IRS..and another courtesy email to let me know it had been processed and that my check was on its merry way to me.  The whole federal process took 2 and a half weeks, as opposed to the 3 months I am used to waiting for my returns to..return.

Wow.

I am *so* never doing my taxes on paper again.    

Furthermore, I'm open to starting an online Turbotax Lover's Club complete with a deviant fan art gallery. Haha  =)

Someone reading this blog believes that older is always better, and is already dreading that thick booklet turning up in their mailbox next January.  To them I say, even an old dog's got to learn some new tricks sometime.

Save the trees. Woot.

1:03 PM - May 27, 2009 - post comment