Electricity went wonky in the panel, rendering me completely unable to see the buttons, which is how I ended up opening the moon roof on a lovely December night - the moon roof then got stuck and we needed to take it to be fixed. My hair, on the other hand...there was no fixing that. Just had to wait for it to thaw.

Moon roof got stuck again as we were bringing Trent home from the hospital. Professional assistance required.

Brakes failed. Professional assistance required.

Transmission failed. Professional assistance required.

Suddenly decided it didn't like making left turns. I nearly dislocated my left shoulder and both boobs forcing the wheel to turn (and also nearly became the cause of at least three potential accidents on the way home). Professional assistance required.

Car refused to start. Profes...need I say it?

This most recent issue has been the cause of a lot of grief. It's sporadic, so I tell Larry the car wouldn't start, he gets home and checks it, the fucker starts. That, or it takes several minutes to coax some life from it in the morning and it works okay for the rest of the day. I've taken to going out at least ten minutes early in the morning with Trent just in case. The record thus far has been 12 minutes of trying to get the engine to turn over while it coughs and wheezes and sounds like it's in it's death throes before whining into reluctant life - then it may or may not work for the rest of the day.

I'm no mechanic, but I've owned an Eagle, a Hyundai and a Dodge (yeah, I know...go ahead and laugh) Caravan minivan, so I am well acquainted with car problems. Most of those vehicles were pre-owned.

When the Hyundai died it was in the middle of a four way intersection and some fossilized old fart was sitting behind me laying on the horn like a dumbass, which prompted me to stick my arm out of the window and wave him around with my middle finger, and yell, "I know I've been sitting here through two lights. It died. Do you think I'd be sitting here if this god-forsaken piece of shit could move? GO AROUND, MORON!!" As I was engaged in the act of redirecting the gentleman around my inert vehicle an ambulance pulled up behind me. Fortunately the driver was not offended by my road rage. He summoned a nice policeman who helped me push my car off to the side of the road then he gave me a ride home. Just in time to get John to kindergarten.

Yes he was with me. And yes, I felt awful about it later. Once the mad-on wore off.

So yeah, I recognize that the start-up problem could be a worn solenoid. Or a bad starter. Or a spark plug that isn't firing. Or a connector that isn't getting the charge from the plug. Or a bad battery. Or a speck of rust on the rings that attach the battery to the rest of the engine. All minor things that don't cost a lot to replace. The AC, though...that'll cost ya. And that went shortly after I started having problems with starting.

Hubbins put it in the shop, we got it back, and all was well. Until this morning when it refused to start again and after six minutes of trying I borrowed John's car and got Trent to school - just in time to be only moderately late. Go me.

Deep cleansing breaths, deep cleansing breaths...

So now I need to give it one more try and whether that mechanized lump of guano rouses from it's vehicular-coma or not, take it back to the shop to have even more work done. Better be at their expense too, because we just paid to have it fixed, which it obviously isn't.

I don't have time for this. I have two children to bring home from school in the afternoon and need to be ready for potential emergencies. If someone needs to go to the doctor, if there's an IEP meeting, if one of my babies gets hurt or sick at school and needs to come home early, if there's an errand to be run, that's my deal. Larry's at work all day (and half the fucking night sometimes), John helps as much as he can but he has a job too. I have to be able to get around independently.

Maybe now that Hubbins will be working elsewhere and making a bit more money we can finally replace the Taurus.

Until then...

Laughter through tears is a fine thing.