John turned 19 and we had a wonderful weekend full of Harry Potter (book and film, both of which were freaking EPIC!!). It doesn't seem all that long ago that he was sitting in a high chair filling his face and his pants simultaneously (I never said that and you can't make me admit it), and now he's practically an adult. True to his word, he will be going back to school soon, though he won't be taking the music courses he had originally planned on. He's decided to go into video game deisgn and development -wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!

And he's already promised to let me test his work before anyone else sees it (double-wheeee!!).

It makes perfect sense; he's fantastic with computers, he loves gaming and he's incredibly smart. If there are any easter eggs, special moves or glitches to exploit he finds them and 95% of the time he does it without the strategy guide. He intuitively seems to know what to look for and what to do with the seemingly useless item that always ends up being important later. In short, he kicketh the ass and taketh the names. This is a path for which he not only has a natural affinity, but will also make him immeasurably happy.

It also pays well, which is good because I fully expect him to support my fat ass during my Geritol years and I like to live comfortably.

My mood has lifted considerably, though I had a bit of a setback when we missed the Manson Concert last Monday. I SO wanted to go. They don't venture into this area often, and with the babies' issues and need for attention I sure don't get out much. Fuck-ola, that was disappointing. I figure that was probably the only chance I'm ever going to get to see them. We had a good reason, with John being sick and all, but it still reeks to be stuck at home when I have tickets to see Marilyn Manson. I suppose I could have gone by myself, but the tickets were a gift for John's birthday and it didn't seem right to use them. Besides, it wouldn't have been nearly as much fun without him. Ah loves mah baybeh.

Miss Zoe is officially done with pre-k and on her way to kindergarten!! The alternative was to send her to the RC school in Frederick, and while it's a wonderful school and the staff is every educator's dream, the curriculum is tailored more for children with advanced learning issues and disabilities. Varying stages of mental retardation, Down's Syndrome, low-functioning autism, that kind of issue. Both Trent and Zoe are at the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum so she really doesn't need the same type of education program. I'd have loved to keep her in the pre-k program for a year but they have to move on at age six. Mrs. C has done such amazing work with Zoe, though, and she's come so far in the three months (plus summer sessions) that she had it is beyond belief. We still can't take her to see a movie but she is able to tolerate being out a lot more than she used to be and being in a store full of people doesn't inspire the terror in her that it once did. The ultimate test will of course be a trip to Hot Topic. I love shopping there because they have the best backpacks/messenger bags, the best t-shirt selection and there's always something with a military or fairy theme to check out. They have amazing stationery, journals and lip glosses too. Plus the store always smells amazing and they play Marilyn Manson and other great music - really loud. I'd better stop or I'll go on about the place for an hour. Suffice it to say it's my favorite place to shop but it scares the methane out of baby girl.

I think it's just too much sensory input for her right now. Autistic children don't have a sensory filter. Let's say Zoe and I were to sit quietly together in the living room, with her on my lap and cartoons on tv. Not only is she seeing and hearing the cartoons, she's feeling the breeze from the air conditioner, smelling food cooking/the conditioner in my hair/possibly my incense, and hearing pieces of conversation going on in other rooms. Only she has no ability at this point to focus on one and tune the others out. Autistic children experience a sensory bombardment - it all gets through at once. That's why Trent has sudden vocal outbursts and Zoe shrieks her face off at Hot Topic. To release anxiety and tension.

Unfortunately the condition *even at it's most mild* brings with it a severe inability to communicate. The information is there, but an autistic child has extreme difficulty expressing it. This isn't the same as retardation, though many people do mistake autism for a form of retardation. Autistic children observe, learn and absorb, but for whatever reason (and even people who make it their life's work to educate autistic children can not say for sure what it is), it gets trapped. My babies know so much more than they have expressed and I am so grateful they have a group of educators around them who understand that and haven't written them off as unteachable. As one of them them told me, 'it isn't that they have trouble learning, they simply learn differently from children who are not autistic, and the most important thing is to develop a program that helps them learn in their own way'. Turns out she was right. Both Trent and Zoe have flourished and started to come out of themselves more. I hate to use what I think of as an overused term, but their progress truly is miraculous.

Trent has decided after seeing Zoe ride the bus to summer classes that he wants to ride it himself in the fall. That's right, both babies will be riding the wild cheesewagon. Kindergarten is an all-day deal here, so they will both also be in school at the same time, and for the first time ever, attending the same school.

Life is good.

It helped that Zoe wanted to go there anyway because Trent does, and she really enjoyed taking her summer classes there. I think for her the transtition will be far less traumatic than it was for Trent. It will also help that Mrs. C spoke to the principal about putting Zoe and a couple of her friends from pre-k in the same class. Apparently she was quite popular in her class and there's a group of kids who have taken her under their collective wing. The same thing happened with Trent. I had no idea little kids could be so caring and compassionate. I was so worried that they would have a hard time fitting in and end up being picked on and ostracised from the other kids because of their communication issues, but they have both done so well. It's is a relief to know that I'm not throwing them to the lions (putting them in public school is often equal to that), and I am so proud of their progress.

Now if I can just get them to stop running about naked all the time. Well, at least they're only doing it at home now. That counts as progress too, doesn't it?

Interrupted again. More later.