I'm desperately trying to avoid getting back to being so anemic that I'll have to go in for blood transfusions. The iron pills are helping in that regard and I was feeling lots better in spite of the bleeding until the aches and pains started being a constant issue. I never tolerated birth control pills well, (though I'd resign myself to taking them until menopause sets in if that's what it takes to keep me out of the hospital), but these headaches are unreal. Some of the worst I've ever had. The kind that feel as if a very large and clumsy man is trying to force a motorcycle helmet onto your head that is about four sizes too small, while a tiny person inside your ocular cavity (and wearing football cleats) braces himself against your brain for support and begins trying to push your eyes out.

Distinctly uncomfortable. Even worse than the 'every cavity of my head is being flossed with rusty barbed wire' (aka 'Mental Floss') headache.

Because the anemia makes me dizzy and nauseous I have been advised not to drive, which means I'm pretty much stuck here until my gyno appointment on the 21st. Woot. Big woot.

So yeah, this pretty much sucks a tailpipe.

As unpleasant as the side effects of the Depo are, it really is helping me by keeping the constant bleeding down to a manageable level. If I were not taking it I'd have been in the emergency room at least twice by now. I know this because it is prescribed in ten-day increments and until this last time another trip to the doctor was required for refills. Since both Drs. H & G are familiar with the issue they just go ahead and call in the refills for me now. When it required an office visit I'd end up without the Depo for a couple of days and the bleeding increases dramatically. It's pretty frightening, actually.

So the meds are a blessing. It occurred to me this morning that this clearly backs up the point I was trying to make during the time when so many pharmacists were making the news because they were refusing to fill birth control prescritions due to their christian beliefs. Birth control isn't just for preventing pregnancy - a score of feminine issues are treated with it. Hormonal imbalances, menstrual irregularity, painful conditions like endometriosis, polycystic ovary syndrome, dangerous bleeding like mine - so many women benefit. And in cases in which it is being used for the sole purpose of preventing pregnancy, this is a positive thing. Avoiding a pregnancy you aren't financially or emotionally ready to see to term is far preferable to having an abortion, and for some reason people tend to forget that the state of being married does not automatically open up a door of readiness to procreate. Yes, many of the women who use birth control are single but there are many married women who want to wait until they and their husbands are financially capable of supporting a child before bringing one into the world. That isn't selfish, controlling or against god's will. On the contrary. It represents maturity, good sense, good judgement and a strong sense of personal responsibility.

To refuse to fill a prescription for birth control puts a pharmacist in the position of superiority over the patient. It says that his or her judgement is of greater value than the patient's and the patient should simply accept the situation and be grateful that the pharmacist has saved them (albeit temporarily) from hell. Such refusal implicitly states that regardless of the patient's physical issues or needs, the pharmacist's relationship with his or her god (in as far as the christian god will actually allow his followers such intimacy) is more important. The soul of the pharmacist is of greater importance than preventing an unwanted pregnancy (and possible abortion), or the physical pain and suffering of the patient.

Thankfully, I haven't gotten any opposition to filling my prescriptions, and the Depo has helped a lot. This miserable situation (which after more research I am even more convinced is fibroids) just got me started thinking about the christian pharmacists who refuse to fill prescriptions for birth control (or pass the precription on to another pharmacist) based upon their religious beliefs and how many women can be negatively affected by it.

These people are capable of causing far more harm to women than the general public is aware.