I think things will be different this time, though. I'm going to do my ritual in the morning rather than wait until the end of the day, which should help tremendously. Also, Larry will be home that morning so either he can corral the babies for a little while or I can get up an hour or two earlier and do it while everyone else is still asleep. This might actually be the best thing because I won't have to be concerned about noise or interruptions due to Trent picking the lock on my bedroom door so he can come in and use my PC. Yeah, I'll try for that. It seems like the best thing for everyone involved.

We have a groundhog in our yard. I wonder if we'll see him? That would be great, but I'm not going to go out to the yard and try to yank him out of his hole the way they do poor Punxutawney Phil. Phil has been known to bite the hell out of people for that, and rightly so. If some bonehead yanked me out of bed, thrust me into the cold and subjected me to the sudden and very rude awakening Phil gets with those flash bulbs popping in his face and all of that startling noise, I'd try to take out a finger or two myself. Anything to get the guy holding me to let go. The way I figure it, Phil's handler is basically asking to lose a finger.

We call our groundhog 'Jefferson Jake'. He's huge. I mean, really...flipping huge. He's got to be at least three feet from nose to tail, and when his winter coat comes in, he looks to be about as wide as he is tall. Jake is the cutest thing ever. He's also got some pretty long, swordlike teeth and moves way faster than a critter that fat ought to be able to. He's also known as 'Tubby Lightning' because of this. As round as he is, he can beat me to his hole before I even have the flash enabled on my digital camera, resulting in a lot of 'OH DAMN(!)' moments. His swiftness has been a real impediment to my photographic aspirations over the last eight years or so, until last summer when I finally got one still and some highly blurry footage. Blurry because I was leaning out of my bathroom window to get it. It was as close as I could get. Hopefully I'll be able to get some clearer shots this spring. It seems Jake likes to hang out under our shed, which just happens to be about ten feet (if that) away from the back bedroom window. If the babies are quiet and I don't lose my patience waiting for it I could get some really nice pictures of the utter furry fabulousness that is Jake.

Now that I think about it, the one good shot is still on my digital. I was reluctant to download it because the iMac lost or destroyed so much stuff I didn't want to risk it, especially since the pictures from the babies' school halloween parties, xmas, and lots of other Trent and Zoe related things were on there. Recently they've started interacting more and playing well together and I am all over that. Gotten some really cute pictures of the two of them the last few months as they've begun to discover they can actually be friends. Can NOT lose those. But since I'm using a PC now it's probably safe to unload the digital. I have several I'd like to post.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see if Jake puts in an appearance on his special day. Though if it were me, I'd go for the extra six weeks' rest. 'Cause naps are wonderful.

So, in honor of the upcoming festival I have the following videos from YouTube. The first is some information about Imbolc, the second is a response to the first video (which I just thought was nice), and the third is a Wiccan Imbolc ritual. Such a beautiful celebration! I hope to have my prayer beads completed by then so I can bless and consecrate them during my own ritual. I'm looking so forward to the sabbat!

When I see these videos on YouTube it always makes me long for a group to worship with. Not necessarily a coven, just a group of solitaries like myself, without the politics and rules of an initiatory coven. I used to know a girl in Baltimore who worshipped with a group like that and she loved it. She said this fellowship with other Pagans was one of the most fulfilling aspects of her religious experience.

I'd like to have that too, but I haven't been able to find one yet. This is a very conservative area and we do have to be careful. I refuse to hide who I am, but a lot of other Pagans aren't fortunate enough to have my same circumstances. They work outside of their homes, they live in even smaller communities than I do, and they have income and reputation at stake. I understand this because when I was employed outside of my home I had the exact same concerns. One day I will have to deal with it again. Right now my children need me to be close to home. The school calls me at least twice a week to come in and bring the babies some allergy meds, eczema meds, etc. Things only I can dispense. Then there are the frequent IEP meetings, conferences, volunteering...so many things to do. Things that I can't do and maintain a job because when the school calls, I'm going. That's it. My children come first in all things. One day though, I'm going to be back out there. I'm going to have to go back to being cautious for the sake of my income, so I know what they're going through. I wonder if it might also be for the sake of safety as well, because there have been some incidents. Minor, but numerous enough to make me concerned.

So I wonder if it will even be possible to find a group? Granted, they'd all have something to lose but there have to be some people in this area besides myself who want that connection too.

The challenge is in getting them out of the broom closet and into the circle.