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I came across my twenty-seventh year on Earth as did so many others in their probably mid-thirties to forties, yet my journey seemed to have turned around the next block in a very hasty manner. I was dumbfounded and stunned when I heard it straight from the horse’s mouth. It left me speechless and numb for a while. Sometimes when you thought things that are there for you in your “now” would actually last forever. There are times when you wake up in the middle of the night only to find out that the things that matter to you most may not have mattered to others you care for so much you would give your whole life to. Was it Barry Manilow’s having the right love at the wrong time? Or was it the right love with the wrong one? Or was it the wrong love at the wrong time? Whichever case is true for this, some things just can’t seem to last for so long as we wanted it to. Some things just come to an end, whether it’s a bitter or sweet one. Come to think of it, almost all relationships turn sour before it closes the chapter, so where’s the sweetness in that? I guess it comes after a careful decision to accept the undeniable fact that can no longer be changed and moving on from there, knowing when and how to give your self to another person if you intend to again with a more guarded perspective, not a haphazard decision you make out of a flash of infatuation and so-called rebounding tendencies. That was why it was as if the hardest part has not washed upon me that fateful December morn, when I had the tsunami of complex emotions spinning me around like I was laundry in that machine. He called it quits and I called it an earthquake with a magnitude of 10.7 intensity. Was that even a movie? So I was shaken but I kept my composure as I had to. I had to be told to move on on my own to get me to awaken from the self-denial I’ve long been sulking myself into for a decade. The decay of the so-called union was already obvious between us but not to the many eyes of friends and acquaintances and even family. Let alone the union was null in the first place and the signs I kept asking God for were not coming to me that year, even up to the last minute. I guess it was really time to wake up. Now, more than three months have passed and I have a better understanding of things, a better insight to revel upon, and a brighter colorful future to plan ahead and look forward to. My family and I are back together under the same roof, with the constraints of the past hurts buried under the somewhat unfulfilled longing of our union. My friends from a distant and recent past are reunited with me for quite very good reasons. I am free to travel, to have fun, talk to anyone and just be myself. I am better at understanding things even from a vicarious point of view. I can say I am more patient and thankful now than I ever was. So as the new chapter of my life unfolds all by itself, a new challenge comes and someone pursues an absurd denouement from more than a decade ago and hopes for this to flourish into something more profoundly exquisite than just friendship. Maybe an even deeper and better understanding of what life is to all and both of us, and the freedom of loving someone in an absolute way that there won’t be fear of losing that person to another because both of you know that there are unseen ties that bind you two even when you were separated miles and decades apart, because in the end each of your hearts call upon each other in that solitary, lovingly longing way. Those are just tidbits of the “now” in my life. The rest is yet to come, my dear. |
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Once again I have found the reason for not being myself today. For selfishly having had the opportunity to wreck a life apart seems not naturally me. Or was it the Thanatos lurking inside working as if I have all but selflessness to give to anyone who renders himself incapacitated because of such endearment towards me. I consider it the most horrible sin dishonoring a man by deliberately mutilating the heart of the one person who could have possibly understood the core of my being. Or maybe because it was never meant to be. That one person you believed can be trusted to be yours that you'll never hurt was not exactly who you thought he was to you. I believe that was the case. No matter how I seem to put it there are irrevocable instances in life that seem to obliterate the fact of the existence of love, even if we so believe it exists and whether or not it really exists. Put it in terms of trust and the apparent lack and loss thereof. Once trust is broken it is definitely hard to gain it back. But the reaction of man towards the situation is somehow what counts. There could either be a positive or negative reaction elicited out of a given stimuli. It is only then a matter of choice. I guess the difference between man and animal is our capacity to react to certain situations in a more rational distinctively human way. We think first before we act. We keep our cool. We don't dive into our instincts and easily pick a fight. We try to segregate the pros and cons, the negatives and positives of our succeeding actions, even our next thought processes after a fact. We try to think of another person as if we were in their shoes. However, in reality, only a few of us humans practice this. Sometimes we do not seem to bother thinking first for as long as we exercise our freedom of expression. We let our tongue do the lashing. We want instant ultimate response given whether for revenge or for the sake of having something to say or something done. So then at times we let our responses be as unguarded and uncensored as possible just because we wanted to be able to let ourselves and egg out that anticipated reaction to a cause. However it is we respond somehow shows what and who we are as a person. Whether we act calmly and try to process the situation first in our heads like as if we were not affected the first instance and then react when all the emotions have subsided and be a more rational being when we do so, or do the other way. Little do we know that when we have become impulsive and have reacted instantaneously we could have already stepped on someone's persona and ego. If we flare up like we normally do, we only intensify the commotion and add fuel to the fire. It only adds up to the negative emotions. Too bad not every one of us has that control over our own selves, our own emotions. And when we come to realize that damage has been done, it's already over, irreparable, irrevocable. |
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Beep-beep! There goes my phone again! Seems it's been a little busy with the network these past days with incoming and outgoing messages leaving every few minutes to every couple of hours at least in a day. Thank God for cellular phones!!! :) Whew! I never knew one get-together could stir an old friendship back to life. Old friendship is what it can be considered as after 14 years of dormancy! Lol! Imagine not having seen each for that long and when you're back it's as if you're twelve or thirteen again! Make it thirteen for it sounds more officially teenager-like! :) At least I could still recall how fond our batch was of each other and they have more stored memories in their brainy sac than mine, so care to delve into their bits and pieces of the past I may. :) Remember the musical partner back in 5th grade, who, by chance grew up to be taller and broader than you today? Hmm....sounds and looks familiar! How about the inkling of a child whom you remember to have had the funniest hard-to-forget face in 4th grade because of his general lack of hygiene, which still irks you to this very moment? :) :) :) What about how he's grown up to have two very cute kids from different moms? LOL! How about the seemingly frail and petite morena whose shyness you could mistake for meekness back in 5th grade but eventually overturned us literally upside-down with her funny antics that every guy and girl would crack a hearty laugh at her??? :) :) And how about calling your classmate by another family name because it sounded familiar and closely related to one of the people you know to have the same name as his from your company??:P Yeah, yeah, apparently despite the somewhat malformed deviant lives (pun intended) you and your friends spent in the past fourteen years it doesn't seem to matter at all. The only solid bond that ties you to them is the fact that you accept them for who or what they are as you wish to be accepted by them as well and that there is friendship among others. Many things may have changed but one thing remains the same - we still become kids in the presence of our childhood friends. Same is true with our dear doh, whose fondness I recall to be very puppyish and fantasy-filled with fascinations of teenage crushes and childhood romances. Wow, imagine being a grader and being frivolously besotted to the point of burning telephone wires for the then-fad "telebabad"??? :) :) :) Imagine being this old and being flimsy at the sound of text messages, can you? :) Fidgety to even open the inbox to see if there was a sweet nothing for no one from no one. Smiling at the very edge of my seat just to anticipate a little something something. :) These are but one of the many reasons to smile indeed. So, it's almost daybreak and I'm again awaiting the rush of beeps on my phone. Will it be another "good morning" or another hopeless anticipation? :) So looking forward to another lunch soiree and chit chats of what not. So looking forward for my reason to smile. :) |
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It's almost as if there had been no time to think whether or not there was going to be adieu, but the coming and passing was as swift as a blink of an eye. For a moment there I held you in my arms and you were mine, but after a split second you are somebody else's property. It was as if I was only to taste the icing and not the cake. So much for the anticipation, so much for the wait. Whether ten years or four, whether legitimate or illegitimate, whether promises broken or promises not made, whether strong or weak, whether worthy or unworthy, whether you or me, whether meant to be or not, whether deliberate or fortuitous, love was not a bond strong enough to endure what we consider the most obdurate of all obstacles the belie in our little lives knotted by our false hopes and aspirations - our wishful thinkings and huge dreams of what could be. It was never suited, never meant, never fit. And so, as we live our lives one more breath longer each passing second of the day, I stand still in the midst of this confusion, allowing everything to permeate my senses, my divination and humanity. I take it all in, knowing you and I, you and I can never be together in this lifetime and beyond. That finite denouement of what could be the most dramatical of all life tales I have known has finally become known. I say that after all else has gone, what's left is your own soul to look after and another day to look forward to, maybe breathing, maybe not. To you, for you, and you, my greatest gratitude I leave, for the years and years of tears and laughter, of hopes and doubts, of wishes and realities, of pain and sweetness, of love and hate, of rebirth and death. An applause cannot suffice my gratitude for you. As I bid adieu, you and your memories I take all in in that bittersweet precipice of everlasting yet dying love. Goodbye my love, farewell. Goodbye, my Love. Goodbye. |
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"just as the rain precipitates into thin air, you will only become a figment of my imagination"
These are exactly my thoughts for you today. Just because there were feelings doesn't mean they cannot wilt into nothing all of a sudden. To put things bluntly, they actually can and then nothing will be remembered about you, of you and with you in the passing of time, such that your existence will never be known ever. This might take time and it could be longer than expected but it will be something I will be willing to go through just to forget you. Thank you for the memories. They will only last until the rain stops and once it has, there will only be better days. |
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If you allow people to dictate how you live your life then you have not lived it, they have. Do not be a puppet on a string, do not be a passenger on a ship, be the master and captain of your life... and don't let perpetrators ruin your one chance to live your life fully. Remember that those that try to pull your spirits down are only unnecessary vexations in life, they do not matter. There had been instances when people you seem to know but do not know you tend to test your strength and ability to hold up. Making up stories about the person you are not and spreading the news like wildfire making them known to every single person just so they could get the others' confidence and trust. Or maybe they just wanted to irk you to unearth the whole truth when you freak out knowing a false rumor has been all around and you were the last person to know. It's called tactics. It's called information manipulation. It's called gossip. It's called work-of-a-person-who-has-no-life-of-his-own. Indeed pathetically sounding but obviously abundant in nature, especially amongst people who live busy lives or pretend to have their hands full. Also true amongst men and women who have motives to climb up the ladder and just simply want to pull people down in fear of losing their most preciously coveted throne in society. In other words, crab mentality. Remember the crabs in the basket? I have lived twenty seven long years on this Earth and by chance of luck have gone through some grueling experiences with people of such character. I have learned my lesson well in college to get affected. I am not after all just a psycho major graduate for nothing. So these mind games cannot alter my perceptions and convictions. Here are my thoughts and analysis then. As a shrink would put it, the behavior is called "superiority complex" whereby a human being with predominant characteristics of some if not all of the above-mentioned personality traits are manifesting the tendencies to become self-over-indulgent, egocentric, manipulative (of information, peers, family, colleagues, etc.), unnecessary paranoia leading to false notions and downright conclusions over things, actions and pieces of information, with the deliberate intent to exalt one's self into the pedestal or hierarchy of things, and the ability to make all things that are in his way as minuscule and insignificant in comparison to his stature. Manifestations of this type of neuro-psychosis includes but is not limited to verbally elevating oneself in midst of peers groups or in any possible interaction between two or more people with the tendencies to insinuate others are of lesser ability and/or value than himself, mockery, bullying and pinning down of others, amongst many. As Wikipedia puts it, Superiority complex refers to a subconscious neurotic mechanism of compensation developed by the individual as a result of feelings of inferiority. The feelings of inferiority in this specific complex are often brought on by real or perceived social rejection. So then, this stems from the feelings of either a realistic case of rejection of that said individual possessing this defense mechanism or just a paranoia in the mind. Often times this roots back to the earlier years in a person's life wherein a specific occurrence of rejection from family or friends may have taken place. A grandfather who may have iterated how poorly one was in comparison to his siblings or a father's consistent and condescending disapproval of the child's deeds resulting to reprimand or castigation. This is also possible and true even in the school setting, wherein a person could have been bullied by peers through verbal or physical assault. What is then therefore our present is just a manifestation of our past. Then it boils down to how our consciousness overrides our subconsciousness and unconsciousness. If our adult selves allow for these primordial experiences to lead us on to living our current lives in retribution and vengeance then we do have the tendencies to impose the same fear and manipulation on others just as we have experienced them. It's called passing on. It's called not getting over the past. It's called fixation. But if we have the conscious effort to make our lives better than it was before then this is not an occurrence we expect to see today. It's called moving on. It's called letting go. However people may take it, whether clinically as a diagnosis or personally as insinuation, we all have our alter egos with this archetypal defense mechanism which systematically shields our persona's in various ways. Whether for good or bad, we possess these traits somehow. Lucky for those who know how to control it and use it for the good and only for benefit of the many, but for those who's alter egos have overridden their conscious systems, it is already their way of life. It's already their pseudo-techniques in coping with the demands and stresses of life, passing it on to others so they may feel the same. I pity the latter. For they have lost their own true selves to that of their other selves. Whether bound by selfish motivations and quest for power and exultation, or by false means of justification of their deeds, they have succumbed to the pits of the game. They have just plainly become players. Or maybe this is really their true self, the one which is innate of the system. Then, let them play. We'll be spectators. |
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sincerely...I wish and pray it in my heart that people learn from the mistakes of trusting the wrong persons and neglecting those who do good, because it is my contrite lifelong yearning. These people may not be the best in words neither the best in deeds but they are the kindest in hearts, the purest of spirits, and the sincerest in intentions. It is just so unfortunate that even the simplest gratitude cannot be shown to them because they are the minutest of all creatures in the eyes of the beholder. The beholder may have good motives but the means to an end does not seem to be justifiable enough. I weep for them. For those whose words are hardly ever heard because the thundering voice of the elders have struck more sound on the beholder's eardrums, I pity them. For the minority who cannot seem to bump a chair because the elders have moved mountains long before, I feel for them. For those who have longed for justice but was not served it, I empathize with them. These are the worst things that can happen to you, when you are either too meek to speak out your thought, let alone to defy what you believe is wrong. You become part of the singled-out lists of traitors, militants and rebels, excruciatingly magnified through microscopic lenses to unearth your flaws against you. This is what happens when you belong in a society of corrupt moral practices and misled governance that seek to flourish and permeate one's innocent mind and destroy your own values. Elders seek to ruin you inside out, push you down than pull you up, cast stones on you until you give up. I do not wish to belong to that society. I do not wish to partake in a banquet full of treachery and lies. I can only think of one way to rid myself such useless agony of trying to be part of the whole when some parts seem bigger than the whole itself. I only wish out.
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The search for the inevitable never ceases for as long as one breathes. The certainty of an answer lies in the hands of time and fate – one truly unfathomable to the point of anxious wait. When others perceive the circumstance a folly and useless pursuit of selfish gains there lays one soul whose tremendous heart is full of heaving hope and endless longing that fires up his being for that one true love few who walked this earth have ever found. His quest for the love immortal moves on as his journey never ends. The long wait has just begun and the brave soul prepares for the ride of his life. |
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For the countless unwritten thoughts in our hearts and unspoken word from our hearts nothing could ever be painful as the pent up emotions stuck somewhere in your aorta or in between your atria and valves, hindering the normal flow of blood and its circulation within the body, causing chest pains and mild loss of consciousness as the brain suffers the loss of precious oxygen in the process. What has physiology got to do with any of these? Nothing really, except for when tear ducts can no longer hold the fluids which they contain, therefore releasing them in a form of water droplets to the beat of a woman’s sobs and heartaches. The body seems to be reacting to the emotions or maybe not. Maybe the body brings out the emotions or is it just the mind? Remember how the brain is the seat of all emotions and thought processes, some part of it called hippocampus, and then therefore it is not the heart that makes us cry when in pain, that which we call weak for when we’re in love but the brain! Just like when in a situation that calls for tears to fall, if you only think hard enough and analyze critically the scenario, you have a conscious option to cry or not to, such that if you do cry it is not the heart that dictates it because you feel the pain but it is in fact the brain! Puzzling isn’t it? Such is the wonder of the human body, the complexity in which we live and the nature of our ways that still amazes us to this day. |
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| The frenzied life that had taken over my last couple of weeks required that I take at least a day of my weekend off from work in the hands of an expert in hair care! Well yeah, I deserve that don't I? It's been like three months since I've had someone touch my hair for treatment, thanks to Jonas Borces, whose shop can be located in Bacayan, Talamban, and yes, my crowning glory needed another chance at boosting its supposedly-wonder-luster! What a shame! I've been quite lazy myself to even visit the ever helpful salon for even a quick foot spa these days. A little over a year after my stint with MBK (Maayong Buntag Kapamilya on ABS-CBN Cebu), I grew a bit weary and yet complacent about keeping up with the way I look in person and on cam. I'd really wish that work did not have to require so much attention to the littlest details of how one person looks, like as if I'd really care. LOL! It won't be a surprise if you see me clad in jeans and shirt or in shorts and tank tops with flipflops even in malls simply because that's the most comfortable mode of dressing for me, apart from my latest fad of donning skirts in the office of late. However, I woke up one day looking frantically concerned about my drying hair tips and growing-out-of -nowhere baby hair! My instincts told me I had to do something about it lest I'd want something seriously bad to happen to my mane. So, time for me to head to the nearest one-stop-shop for your beauty needs - Jun Esma Salon! Alas! It was right timing when I found the shop with only a few patrons getting their delighted services from the able and courteous staff. Only a few minutes had gone by and it was already my turn to hit the chair and all I had to do was sit back, relax and enjoy the rejuvenating foot spa and pedicure while my hair was being treated for "upshine." Oh, what a delight! In a matter of hours I was done and I felt much livelier, not to mention feeling lovelier with the gloss and health revived back into my hair. What a relief! I headed to the nearest coffee shop to do my thing on here and waited for time to wear me out with a tall glass of chocolate chip froccino. Heaven! And so goes my little Sunday escapade, all by myself but never alone. My special thanks to Sir Jun Esma and his pleasing staff - Joseph and company, for having made my few hours stay lovely! His shop is located in Banilad, Cebu City right infront of Jollibee Banilad. You won't miss it for the big signage atop his building! Happy weekend!!! |
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A Tribute to You Who Speaks of Evil... In this world where everyone doubts or hates everyone else there is no question people would doubt or hate you. Not only because you are not what they expect you to be but sometimes you get into their nerves for just being around them and being who you are. You are that pesky little brat who wants to prove himself right at all times and prove others wrong. You thrive in the failure and defeat of others. You dwell in their miseries for they become your source of merriment and victory. You are that one source of doom in people whose lives are governed by your tyranny. You evoke mutiny on all lands that you tread. You are the evil that destroys all that is good. Your wretchedness spreads in the midst of the colony like disease lurking in our biological system. You are that virus in a pill that supposedly treats the illness. You are a pathological mess and though you know it you deny it and rejoice in that knowledge! You are sick for you are sickness itself. How could you aim at ruining other people´s lives when you have a life of your own to devastate? How could you pick on other´s backyard when you have a mess of your own you haven´t fixed? Too bad not a lot may have noticed the corruption from within you. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe many have known but are too afraid to come out because of the influence you have on some prominent others. Or maybe because of your tongue you lash out at people just almost everywhere you go and at every spot you see in your own eyes as erroneous. Truly no matter how despicable you are you still seemed to be all-knowing and goody with just a select few - those who fear you enough not to oppose you or probably those who know you too well to tolerate you and let you be or those who were convinced by your gift of gab and supposed sensibility. As for the many that do not believe in you or are not all-too-willing to be persuaded by your arrogant intellect, I guess they shrug it off casually and let you pass them by. Your words will not mar them, nor malign their lives. You will be an insignificant thorn in their way, only to prick them for a while and cause a drop of blood but nothing more. You will be a mere flu to be rid of with medication and prevented with shots, a foreign object in the air passage to be sneezed out, a toxic waste to be expelled from the body, a foul bolus of foodstuff to be vomited, nothing more. Though they will not belittle you for who you are, they will not allow you to vilify them nonetheless. This is the word of the many, those whom you punctured minutely, as an act of tribute to the being that has in one way or another caused a percussion of unnatural preventable events just because you have unnecessarily intervened. Henceforth, thou shalt not speak of evil; thou shalt not speak of you. |
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if i had the chance to rewrite history if i had the chance to change the world would i do it? what would the lines on my palm tell? what would the past hide? what would my present be like? what would the future have in store? For me and you, you and i? |
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of goodbyes and promises
The dreaded moment has come and gone. Almost half past three when the phone rang and a familiar silence was heard. A voice then shaky and tearful appeared to have come from nowhere. Only wanting the truth and perhaps hoping for a chance of holding on, the voice echoes in utmost desperation, deeply needing solace from the inflictor, longing for a glimpse of hope but there was none. The silence was numbed, speechless to his hears and pleadings. Silence and unuttered thoughts were all that could be given for a huge barricade of rationaluty and sense of somewhat morality had bordered them two. Silence only had nothing more to say or perhaps was tooo profoundly adamant in letting the voice go or had the latter let the former go. Whichever was the case, she victoriously strode through it all head up high but heart in the lowest pits of hell. Over and again loss comes in victory but this time it's forever lost. The vow of eternal love is all that's left after the longest goodbye is finally heard. If goodbyes had been absolute and finite, then what do we make of love? moment has come and gone. Almost half past three when the phone rang and a familiar silence was heard. A voice then shaky and tearful appeared to have come from nowhere. Only wanting the truth and perhaps hoping for a chance of holding on, the voice echoes in utmost desperation, deeply needing solace from the inflictor, longing for a glimpse of hope but there was none. The silence was numbed, speechless to his hears and pleadings. Silence and unuttered thoughts were all that could be given for a huge barricade of rationality and the sense of somewhat morality that had bordered them two. Silence only had nothing more to say or perhaps was too profoundly adamant in letting the voice go or had the latter let the former go. Whichever was the case, she victoriously strode through it all head up high but heart in the lowest pits of hell. Over and again loss comes in victory but this time it's forever lost. The vow of eternal love is all that's left after the longest goodbye is finally heard. If goodbyes had been absolute and finite, then what do we make of love? |
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May 7 '08
There is no way ever that I'm going to hate my coffee skin! That's an affirmation. I look at the mirror each day from the first I got toasted off the shores of Duawon and I grin - happy about the way I looked. i just wished that I had worn my 'kinis so to get an even tan but I hadn't. I can't wait to get another dose of sun on my skin this weekend. For our getaway, a mountain resort would do, but watch out beach 'coz I'm coming at you! |
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 Unsaun nalang kung masakitan ka? Kanang samad nga sa kalawom wala'y makaayo niini, og sa kasakit wala'y makatambal niini. Kanang samad nga lawom og duot, dili lang sa pamanit kun dili lakip na ang gikubalan na nga kasingkasing. May makahatag pa kaha og kaayuhan niini?
 Ang pagkapangos sama niini usa ka sakripisyo sa kinabuhi, sa pagpa-uyon sa kinaiyahan, sa pagpalayo sa usa ka gihinam sa kasingkasing nga tua sa hilayo. Aron lamang sa pagpukgang sa mahiagumang kadautan, tungod og alang sa paghigugma.
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I wanted to say that I'm alright the past days and that I've lived thru what was to me an inevitable internal struggle of composing myself and keeping abreast the conundrums unfair life has to bring as well as the simplicity it has to offer. I realized the perplexities and the ease in life are both complicated, nonetheless somewhat harder to achieve. I wanted to believe that the words will not hurt as much as they will be imprinted in my lowly heart but somehow my beliefs are failing me. I am strong as I want to be inside and out but I know what lies beneath is far more malleable than the shell. I tried not to look at each character as they leave a mark of his words. It’s either the words become blurry or my head and heart hurt altogether as they sink in one by one. Shame of me to deny how the declarations affected me because they really do and I don’t and won’t deny it but the mind, unwilling to give in to his woes commands my utmost composure. I may be as stubborn as a buffalo but I still get stunned ever so often when I hear him utter his whole heart to me. I am in constant denial of that possible love of your life I once thought immaterial but real through his existence. That love which could only be realized if I willingly give my all to it. |
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With life as hasty and as elaborately complicated as this it’s no wonder the body wears out almost instantaneously as combustible wood on fire. With the way I sucked a couple of times throughout the entire duration of the show I’m still glad to have the compliments for a good or shall we say authentically unusual introduction of David Lowe " Microsoft’s Senior Product Manager, Microsoft Windows Server Division, Microsoft Corporation.
A note on how obviously tired I am manifested in my incoherence of thought and hand-writing. I bet my clients now would think less of me knowing I had not met their expectations. On a more serious note I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to be Patricia Hizon’s counterpart host in Cebu for Microsoft’s launching of its three new cool products for this year and not to mention the perks and an addition to my humble list of corporate events on my curriculum vitae. 
Thank you Microsoft and ASAP Productions! |
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Kiss me like you’ve never kissed before Thrill me with your adventurous soul Pull me out of gravity’s force Show me the way to lose control Do me like you’ve never before Tie me behind your open door Touch me deep down into the core Dig me, unearth my fiery hole Love me like you’ve never loved before Lust me, desire for me even more Cast me into your sole inferno Throw me stares I cannot live without Push me until I scream and shout Thrust me until you climax out Shake me until your body numbs Suck me until I succumb Feel me like I’m the only one Feed me like the only one Make me your only one Take me my only one Trust me to bring you joy Mock me never I am no toy Cool me whenever I heat up Warm me when I cool down Lose me never to someone else Keep me forever for yourself Hold me so warmly in your arms Look me sweetly with your loving eyes Own me forever in your heart Taste me and eat me with delight Have me, all body heart and soul Love me from now and forevermore |
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I finally realized how people had been having misconceptions about me. Not because I have two jobs that I have more pennies in my pocket. Maybe I am indebted more and so I need the coins more. Not because I’m seen on television that I’m making a hefty sum. Maybe I am there solely for the love of it and by the chance of luck that I am entrusted a great responsibility not everyone has the opportunity to undertake regardless the monetary benefits the other job provides. Not because people think I am popular that I really am known. Maybe so many I’ve walked past by hardly even notice I’m there. Not because I am me that I am happy and whole. Maybe there are undefined sorrows and frustrations that mark my existence. Not because I have achieved much that I dream less. For sure there are many roads I’ve yet to travel whether it leads me to the truth and ultimate satisfaction. Maybe there are so many things people have mistaken me for or that maybe only they saw those things in me. One thing though is for sure " I am my own being and no one can take that away from me and no influence is strong enough to change me otherwise. |
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When the stars in the heavens unite to form a constellation and the latter combines with others of its kind to create a galaxy, what could your star and mine do in that certain place and time? How do you count the days as they pass you by? How do you wrap the moment in between your fingers? How do you sway the waves from the shore? How do you tell the wind to stop blowing? How do you tell the mind to stop thinking? How do you tell the lungs to stop breathing? How do you tell the heart to stop beating? How do you extinguish the burning passion? How fo you kill that which gives you life (awww… how ironic!)? How do I tell you to stop? How do you want me to perish into thin air? How do you cease natural aging even? How do you satisfy the hunger? How do you quench the thirst? Again, how do you stop the longing? How do you kill love? How do you do it? Pray tell how. |
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