With life as hasty and as elaborately complicated as this it’s no wonder the body wears out almost instantaneously as combustible wood on fire. With the way I sucked a couple of times throughout the entire duration of the show I’m still glad to have the compliments for a good or shall we say authentically unusual introduction of David Lowe " Microsoft’s Senior Product Manager, Microsoft Windows Server Division, Microsoft Corporation.

Kiss me like you’ve never kissed before

Thrill me with your adventurous soul

Pull me out of gravity’s force

Show me the way to lose control

Do me like you’ve never before

Tie me behind your open door

Touch me deep down into the core

Dig me, unearth my fiery hole

Love me like you’ve never loved before

Lust me, desire for me even more

Cast me into your sole inferno

Throw me stares I cannot live without

Push me until I scream and shout

Thrust me until you climax out

Shake me until your body numbs

Suck me until I succumb

Feel me like I’m the only one

Feed me like the only one

Make me your only one

Take me my only one

Trust me to bring you joy

Mock me never I am no toy

Cool me whenever I heat up

Warm me when I cool down

Lose me never to someone else

Keep me forever for yourself

Hold me so warmly in your arms

Look me sweetly with your loving eyes

Own me forever in your heart

Taste me and eat me with delight

Have me, all body heart and soul

Love me from now and forevermore

I finally realized how people had been having misconceptions about me. Not because I have two jobs that I have more pennies in my pocket. Maybe I am indebted more and so I need the coins more. Not because I’m seen on television that I’m making a hefty sum. Maybe I am there solely for the love of it and by the chance of luck that I am entrusted a great responsibility not everyone has the opportunity to undertake regardless the monetary benefits the other job provides. Not because people think I am popular that I really am known. Maybe so many I’ve walked past by hardly even notice I’m there. Not because I am me that I am happy and whole.  Maybe there are undefined sorrows and frustrations that mark my existence. Not because I have achieved much that I dream less. For sure there are many roads I’ve yet to travel whether it leads me to the truth and ultimate satisfaction. Maybe there are so many things people have mistaken me for or that maybe only they saw those things in me. One thing though is for sure " I am my own being and no one can take that away from me and no influence is strong enough to change me otherwise.

When the stars in the heavens unite to form a constellation and the latter combines with others of its kind to create a galaxy, what could your star and mine do in that certain place and time? How do you count the days as they pass you by? How do you wrap the moment in between your fingers? How do you sway the waves from the shore? How do you tell the wind to stop blowing? How do you tell the mind to stop thinking? How do you tell the lungs to stop breathing?  How do you tell the heart to stop beating? How do you extinguish the burning passion? How fo you kill that which gives you life (awww… how ironic!)? How do I tell you to stop? How do you want me to perish into thin air?  How do you cease natural aging even? How do you satisfy the hunger? How do you quench the thirst? Again, how do you stop the longing? How do you kill love? How do you do it? Pray tell how.

... THE MBK SAGA ...

Sa likod sa mapaniid nga mata sa camera mao kining sugilanon sa mga managhigalang gisuwayan sa panahon. Ang makasaysayong panagbayloay og pulong og buhat nga daw sa pelikula pa napuno sa drama... apan... puno pod sa gugma.

In my victory I lost. I hypothesized a calculated risk would grant me unending glory, that I would never face defeat but I was wrong. Little did I know that the amount of energy I spent to lift me up to the pedestal was doubled, even tripled to pull me down to the lowest of grounds. I belittled the power of karma, the retaliation of a broken heart, the mirroring of my deed. I hurt and get hurt in return.

His sobs were stabs of a hundred knives onto my chest. I bleed for each drop of tear that falls down from his eyes swollen from days of crying. I choke to the sound of his slurred speech, words I can barely decipher, as there were more sobbing than talking.

I thought I’ve heard enough but each time a word of love and tireless wait comes out of his mouth I hear him slowly breaking down and I find myself with wet cheeks, blurry eyes and heavy breathing to the rhythm of his own. I knew then we were one in spirit. My wall had fallen as I was into tears.

His world was shattered by my painful decision. He was the heartbroken and lost. I was the cause. I only warned him so several times before that this could happen. He ignored it the first and many times over. It was never my intention but I knew somehow it was to happen. I just didn’t have enough courage to set him free until days ago.

He was as fragile as a blossom crushed by the hands of time and a heartless spectator. He was a child lost to wander in the wild devoid of maternal care and love. He was a cloud swayed afar by the merciless wind.

I was the spectator, I was the mother and I was the wind. I caused him pain which I inflicted upon myself. In my conquest of fighting for what is morally right I have won but in the conquest of my greatest fear and in my quest for eternal love and happiness I lost.

I have learned that age does not come in numbers. It only is determined by the strength of your own true character, the untouchable steadfastness of your will, the soundness of your decisions, the compassion of your heart and the goodness of your soul.

Age brings out the sweetness of wine, the strength of its spirit and its palatability to the tongue. It tests the resiliency of bamboos and the tallest of sycamore trees. It appreciates the hurdles of Father Time and surpasses them with a sweet smile.

Age is by mere fact an attitude, a lifestyle.

-I wrote this sometime after my 25th birthday, realizing that there are many things that might define our coming of age but that there are certain things that hold true as we grow in our years of existence and in the hope that our wisdom had somewhat grown parallel to our experience.

Rise and fall, inhale and exhale

Expand and deflate, up and down

Beat for every second that passes

Breathe for every but pulsating

Eyes half-shut, half-open

Brows that meet halfway

When things are heard spoken

Forehead wrinkling to my little noise

Eyes opening to my every move

Little snores to thunderous yawns

The peaceful sleep in which he spawns

Little by little hands inching for grasp

Skin to skin touching hand to hand

Resting in slumber thou shalt not awaken

Gihidlaw ko

Ang dagway nga maaninag sa adlaw

Gihunahuna ko

Ang kaagi nga walay sama

Giampo ko

Nga sa kangitngit hinaot makaplagan

Ang kasingkasing ko

Nga gibutyag ang tukmang gibati

Gihandom ko

Ang katahum sa imong espiritu

Gipangandoy ko

Nga sa untop nga panahon

Mahikam ko

Ang katakos sa gugma mo

Gisakit ko

And pag-antos sa kamingaw

Gipas-an ko

Ang kasakit sa imong dughan

Gipangandoy ko

Sa hangin ang gihinam sa kasingkasing

Gipanghinaot ko

Nga makapaabot ka sa kadugay

I sleep. I nap. I blink my eyes close. I dream of dreams never realized. I wander in that void, of dark and unknown depths. I float in the vastness of empty space and unlimited heights. I fall into the abyss of nothingness and saw my life passing my by. I fall into a deep slumber one could barely wake up from. I saw an image of fear and of letting go. I faced that which I dreaded and conquered my weakness.

My breath grew heavy, exhilarating the blood rushing through my veins. My head grew weary, unable to take all of it. My body became limo and numb to my feel. I feel nothing. I think nothing. I fear nothing. I do nothing. I am weightless, meandering through the valley of darkness.

I am floating again. My breathing grew steadily calm. Pulsations have long gone. I rested. I slept. I dreamt.

OF TOIL AND BOREDOM

Where is my drive? I’ve been waking up to a dragging day at the office, barely accomplishing things and tasks, struggling for competence but hardly ever being competent.

 Few remaining hours spent on the screen, searching for answers and throwing back questions. Storming through the dictates of corporate, meeting the demands of management, trying as much as possible to fulfill the duties and responsibilities assigned to me but there is still a miss.

That enthusiasm is long gone. The desire to achieve is slowly depleting. The body is driven to exhaustion. The mind brought to extinction.

My work has become my bread and butter but to consider my work in the office as fulfilling in an overstatement. It has become a routine. Discreetly pulling my passion down and wearing my engines out.

To discern whether the work has served its purpose is a prerequisite to deciding whether to stay or head one for another challenge.

I need to re-assess myself and this current situation. Find the drive in me and see a whole new perspective to work, one more compelling and worth waking up for.

Human sa tanang panghitabo nahugno ang kalibutan, nahanaw ang bughaw nga langit og natak-upan sa bagang kadag-uman ang tibuok kawanangan.

Paghilak sa langit ang mipuli sa pahiyom sa adlaw. Tumang kagabhion ang tataw nga nihulip sa kahayag sa palibot og makabungol nga kamingaw ang nahibilin human sa awit sa mga langgam. Ang panaghoy sa mga kahoy nahulipan sa pagkusp-kuso sa unos.

Nibagnos ang masakit nga kaagi sa iyang kasingkasing og bagbilin og dakong uwat pagkahilom sa samad. Di man mahitupngan ang kalipay sa pagkakaplag apan mas lawom ang duot sa pagkawala.

Unsaun nalang ang buwak kung walay kahumot, ang langgam kung walay tingog, ang dagat kung walay tubig, ang kasingkasing kung walay gugma?

Unsaun nalang?      

Kung matugkad ko man ang gilawmon sa dagat mahisabtan ko ba kaha ang kahalapad sa imong pasensya, ang kasakit sa imong pag-antos, ang katakos sa imong gugma?

Wala mahanaw sa akong panghunahuna ang kapalaran nga nagbugkos sa atong mga kinabuhi. Dili lalim ang mahigugma apan angayan dili.

Sama sa anghel nga mikanaog sa yuta aron makighiusa sa mga tao, o sa demonyong pugos nagpakatao para sa kasingkasing sa usa ka putli.

Ang sakripisyo nga way sama dili mabayran og bisan unsa. Ang gugma pagasuklian og gugma, ang pagpasensya sa usab pagpasensya.

Apan dili tanang paghatag mabayluan og pagdawat. May mga higayon nga walay madawat ang usa gikan sa iyang pagsakripisyo. Tungod kay dili angayan o dili pa nakatakna. Ang pagpasensya mao ang tubag sa tanan. Tungod ka yang tao nga nia niini magrasyahan sa iyang pagpaabot.

Basin sa pagkakaron ang pagkab-ot sa gihinam usa ka pangandoy pa lamang pero mamahimong uyon sa tukmang panahon.

Paghimamat

Usa ka higayon niana, nanag-abot ang among tagsa-tagsa ka mga dalan. Nagkurus ang duha ka managlahing direksyon apan sa tunga-tunga naundang kadiyot ang among mga panikaysikay aron sa paghinuklog sa among kahimtang.

Daw ang kapalaran hilig maniaw-tiaw tungod kay kung kinsa ang dili angay managkita hatagan pa jud sa higayon nga madagma asa usag-usa.

Kinsa ang magtuong mamahimo pa kini? Nga bisan gani sa pangagpas o pagdahum mang lamang wala kini masulod sa akong alimpatakan. Nga bisan sa pangandoy nagdahom ko nga kutob lamang sa panghuna-hun, wala’y higayon nga mamahimong tinuod o mahikam. Daw sa panganod nga sa mga mata lamang mahimamat apan dili mutugdong sa mga palad.

Apan ang panganod nikanaog sa yuta aron sa pagpahibaw sa iyang pagka-siya, sa pagpamatuod nga kini dili lamang sa mga mata masaksihan kung dili mahapuhap sa mga kamot, maginhawa sa ilong, mahagkan sa ngabil, mahapyod sa dughan og mabati sa kasing-kasing.

The Virgin and the Beast

The virgin walks the dewy dusk

Towards a hairy creature devoid of tusk

But horns reaching up to her elbow’s length

Manifests the beast’s unfailing strength

The beast struggles in which it lays

More like predator but also prey

She comes to him in all gentleness

And strokes his mane with all caress

He backs away for a while at her touch

Jerks his head off her hand as such

Looks away and shuns the virgin’s smile

But she stayed for the longest while

She sighed in the sadness but hope never failed

Crept her hand to his head in a gentle pat

Sang a lullaby to calm the beast’s spirit

Knowing she put all of her heart in it

Alas the beast looked at her loving face

Strained with tears for his own menace

He lifted his head to rest on her lap

And put all his weight on her as he naps

Their breathing had the most perfect tune

She sweetly smiled to the lost of gloom

It wasn’t in vain when she gave her love

For the beast once is now her angelic dove