2/12/2010
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rationality required
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Once again I have found the reason for not being myself today. For selfishly having had the opportunity to wreck a life apart seems not naturally me. Or was it the Thanatos lurking inside working as if I have all but selflessness to give to anyone who renders himself incapacitated because of such endearment towards me. I consider it the most horrible sin dishonoring a man by deliberately mutilating the heart of the one person who could have possibly understood the core of my being. Or maybe because it was never meant to be. That one person you believed can be trusted to be yours that you'll never hurt was not exactly who you thought he was to you. I believe that was the case. No matter how I seem to put it there are irrevocable instances in life that seem to obliterate the fact of the existence of love, even if we so believe it exists and whether or not it really exists. Put it in terms of trust and the apparent lack and loss thereof. Once trust is broken it is definitely hard to gain it back. But the reaction of man towards the situation is somehow what counts. There could either be a positive or negative reaction elicited out of a given stimuli. It is only then a matter of choice. I guess the difference between man and animal is our capacity to react to certain situations in a more rational distinctively human way. We think first before we act. We keep our cool. We don't dive into our instincts and easily pick a fight. We try to segregate the pros and cons, the negatives and positives of our succeeding actions, even our next thought processes after a fact. We try to think of another person as if we were in their shoes. However, in reality, only a few of us humans practice this. Sometimes we do not seem to bother thinking first for as long as we exercise our freedom of expression. We let our tongue do the lashing. We want instant ultimate response given whether for revenge or for the sake of having something to say or something done. So then at times we let our responses be as unguarded and uncensored as possible just because we wanted to be able to let ourselves and egg out that anticipated reaction to a cause. However it is we respond somehow shows what and who we are as a person. Whether we act calmly and try to process the situation first in our heads like as if we were not affected the first instance and then react when all the emotions have subsided and be a more rational being when we do so, or do the other way. Little do we know that when we have become impulsive and have reacted instantaneously we could have already stepped on someone's persona and ego. If we flare up like we normally do, we only intensify the commotion and add fuel to the fire. It only adds up to the negative emotions. Too bad not every one of us has that control over our own selves, our own emotions. And when we come to realize that damage has been done, it's already over, irreparable, irrevocable. |
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