I wanted to say that I'm alright the past days and that I've lived thru what was to me an inevitable internal struggle of composing myself and keeping abreast the conundrums unfair life has to bring as well as the simplicity it has to offer. I realized the perplexities and the ease in life are both complicated, nonetheless somewhat harder to achieve.

I wanted to believe that the words will not hurt as much as they will be imprinted in my lowly heart but somehow my beliefs are failing me. I am strong as I want to be inside and out but I know what lies beneath is far more malleable than the shell.

I tried not to look at each character as they leave a mark of his words. It’s either the words become blurry or my head and heart hurt altogether as they sink in one by one. Shame of me to deny how the declarations affected me because they really do and I don’t and won’t deny it but the mind, unwilling to give in to his woes commands my utmost composure. I may be as stubborn as a buffalo but I still get stunned ever so often when I hear him utter his whole heart to me. I am in constant denial of that possible love of your life I once thought immaterial but real through his existence. That love which could only be realized if I willingly give my all to it.