Umm ok, I now see that its not "him" who is too shy. It is me. I am the one pushing myself from him. I had the perfect oppurtunity to talk to him. THE PERFECT OPPURTUNITY!!!! But no, I automatically got away somehow. Heres what happened:

It was third period and his class was coming out of science. I had science next, and when I walked inside the classroom, he was still there. So I started to talk to Ms. Nurse, and tried to buy me time until he left. He sat right in Sara's desk, which is the desk next to mine. So, you know can see why I didn't seat there.

What I've could have done was sit there and say whts up or just sit there with my notebook out. But I see I am not capable of doing that. That is why I feel hurt inside. I always push him away. And I can't make fun of him, cause that just makes him upset. And I really do feel like giving up, but something just won't let me. I just wish, I really do wish that there was something that I could do to go back in time and don't meet him at all. In fact, I wish that I didn't even attend Newton, that way, he couldn't have met me. But i guess that I just have to face the fact of knowing that we will never be together.

well, off that subject now, let me tell you what happened in school today. It was last period and we were going to our next class from lunch. Bernard had tried to pick a fight with Angelo (omar's bro) and well, Bernard didn't want to(good boy!). But, Angelo came inside the classroom and started to punch him and stuff. So then Jissette and Aseena told Bernard that he should stick up for himself. but, bernard still didn't want to. Then Ms. Tarter came and kicked bernard outside the classroom w/ angelo!! that was the meanest thing she could ever do. I actually felt pity for him.

ok, back to me. My heart is really hurt. But it's not like I can just stop liking him unless he does sumthing disgusting or uncool, then that would stop me. But he would least likely do that. I guess I could also stop if he was just ugly, but I guess that will never happen. unless he got caught in a fire or somthing (GOD FORBID!!!!). But I would love it if you readers would just wish the best for me. Ok peace out.