7/31/2006 - Sorrowful Mystery

7/23/2006 - Pieces Of You

Pieces of You

She's an ugly girl, does it make you want to kill her?
She's an ugly girl, do you want to kick in her face?

(Jewel Kilcher)

7/22/2006 - Korean Bug

I first heard of Korea when I was I kid. People in my community would always say Korean Bug. It was their expression. They would say, "oh, you've eaten a korean bug" or "Beware of the Korean bug." I still don't exactly know what it is. Whenever I asked around what it was, they would give me varied answers.

Many Koreans have flocked into the city where I am now. Literally, they're like aliens from outer space trying to populate the city. They were just a handful when I was in college but now, they're almost everywhere. You see them in schools, the streets, the malls, everywhere. They sprouted like mushrooms. Oh, don't get me wrong. I like Koreans. They give color to our boring city. They're always so fashionable and they make us the locals look like nothing. I also kinda like their soap opera. Our tv stations show lots of them dubbed in our language. I wish I could speak Korean. Maybe I'll enroll in some Korean classes when I have the time and money for it. My problem with Koreans here though is that they don't seem to be making friends with us. You always see them in groups and they seem to just hang out with their kind. It just bothers me because they're here to learn English (or are they?) and they're not taking advantage of it.

I read somewhere in the newspapers that Koreans came here to learn English and they chose to come particularly to our city mainly because of our cool climate unlike the typically warm climate of other parts of my country. They also say that schools here offer very affordable fees. And they also think that we are good in English. Hmm, not quite. I mean, yeah, we speak English but very bad English. My people always brag about our being the most preferred workers abroad because of our English language skills but I think it's just an exaggeration. In my observation, we barely communicate with an English speaking foreigner. We can barely give directions whenever we are asked to in English. Almost everyone in here can't speak English. So how can they tell me that we are good in English. That's bullshit. Maybe we are but just a few. I struggle with my English. That's because I barely speak it. I only use it when I write my blog. When I go out to the streets, I mainly use the three other languages that we speak here.

Anyway, the Koreans should consider interacting with us more so that we can very much understand and accept each other. Maybe they are but not quite to the degree that everyone can see it. Look-wise, they're great. There's no denying that. I still like them and I hope to make friends with them.

7/22/2006 - Fat Boy

(Jewel Kilcher)

Fat boy goes to the pool

Sees his reflection, doesn't know what to do

He feels little inside and filled with pride

Oh, fragile flame

No one sees the same

Fat boy goes about his day

Trying to think of funny things to say

Like, "This is just a game I play"

And, "I like me this way"

Oh, fragile flame

When no one feels the same

Hush, sleep, don't think, just eat

Your daddy's little boy

Your mama's pride and joy

You know they love ya

But not because they hold ya

Fat boy says, "Wouldn't it be nice

if I could melt myself like ice

or outrun my skin and just be pure wind"

Oh, fragile flame

Sometimes I feel the same

7/21/2006 - What's Simple Is True

What's Simple is True

Turn to me with frozen lips

Your hands are icy cold

Your eyes burn bright against the frost-bit sky

You never seemed more lovely than you do tonight

Pale on the horizon

Like leaves frozen in the snow

Our two shadows merge inseparably

Will time stand still if it's pierced with cold

The more I live

The more I know

What's simple is true

I love you

There's a warmth in my heart

It haunts me when you're gone

Mend me to your side and never let go

Say 'Time knows nothing, we'll never grow cold

The more I live

The more I know

What's simple is true

I love you

Twilight descends on our silhouette

How soon spring comes

How soon spring forgets

I wanna hold time, say it'll never begin

Old man winter be our friend

'Cause the more I live

The more I know

What's simple is true

What's simple is true

I love you...

     (Jewel Kilcher)

7/18/2006 - Absence of Fear

Inside my skin

There is this space

It twists and turns

It bleeds and aches

Inside my heart

There's an empty room

It's waiting for lightning

It's waiting for you

And I am wanting

And I am needing you here

Inside the absence of fear

Muscle and sinew

Velvet and stone

This vessel is haunted

It creaks and moans

My bones call to you

In their separate skin

I make myself translucent

To let you in

For I am wanting

And I am needing you here

Inside the absence of fear

There is this hunger

This restlessness inside of me

And it knows that you're no stranger

You're my gravity

My hands will adore you through

All darkness aim

They will lay you out in moonlight

And reinvent your name

For I am wanting you

And I am needing you here

I need you near

Inside the absence of fear

                    -Jewel Kilcher

7/18/2006 - Samara!

Abandon me.

Return to your grave.

Throw yourself deep into the well.

Quit haunting me. I'm not scared anymore.

I've suffered enough.

You invaded my body and you crawled into my mind.

Now remove yourself from me.

Abandon my body and mind.

Rachel! Get away!

This is my war!

Samara! Quit whispering!

I can't hear you.

Defeat your efforts.

They're futile.

You scare me no more.

Retreat! Surrender!

You have lost your power over me!

Retreat! Surrender!

Spare yourself the trouble!

It's not working anymore.

Forward not an inch!

For I will call upon the higher power

to annihilate you.

You will be forever extinguished.

Quit it Samara! Quit it!

Shit! You don't ever quit, do you?!

In Jesus' Name, I command you to return

to your grave!

In Jesus' Name! Huh?!

In Jesus' Almighty, Powerful Name!!!

Fuckin' Shit! It's not working!

Rachel! Unplug the TV off!!!

7/16/2006 - Sudden Storm of Depression

I was at the moviehouse watching Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, when something hit me. I don't know what it was. There was no relation to the movie or whatsoever. But it hit me and I couldn't explain the feeling. A storm of depression went through me. I asked myself why. I was shaking inside like something terrible had happened or about to happen. Some powerful emotion has taken over me. Mysterious. Big.

What has come over me?

7/15/2006 - Nose Job

7/14/2006 - Amen

7/13/2006 - Rain, Rain go away!

It has been raining for days now. I'm cold, I'm bored, I'm wet. What do I do? I'm sick of this and I'm sick of what's happening to me.

I'm stuck. I wanna go away from here. But where do I go? Nowhere? Aaaaaarrrgghhhh!!!!

Take me! I wanna go away from here. Take me anywhere but here!!! I wanna hide, away from their prying eyes. Fuck! They're here! Let's go! C'mon!

Where is superman? Shit! He's busy saving the world! I think I have to go by myself. Alone. Which way do I go? Man! I'm still here. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Kill myself! No! It's painful! I think... What now? Go somewhere else? Fuck! What? I have to end this now? Ok. Bullshit I have to go!!!!

7/12/2006 - Like A Virgin

Finally! I've always wanted to have a blog! Man! This is cool!

This is my first entry and I hope to keep putting more entries. So I'm like a virgin here.

So first up, why dreadlocked? I was kinda interested by the look. I want to have dreadlocks but I don't think right now is the right time. But someday I'm gonna have it and I will tell the whole world about it. So for now, uh, I guess that's all for now.