When persons with BPD cannot self comfort they flee into escape type behaviors like Compulsive sex, drug and alcohol abuse, cutting or anything really that will help them to be more clam and not feel the chatic mess that they constantly Feel. The feeling that nobody understand s what they are going through or what life is like for them makes this escape even more neccassary and the need for  a release not only from their own problems and Fears but the judgement and non understanding nature of those around them.  The constant words from others that they have to change and not behave like this anylonger, Is a difficult demand, Borderlines already fear losing those close to them but when the loved one places these demands it becomes all the more painful. The emotional terrorism that the Person with BPD feels is unbearable and debilitating to the point of explosion which is why many Borderlines have explosive outburts, unreasonable demands, and the "I want it all now " approach to life.. They need to feel joy and normalcy by any means neccassary and will often go to any means they can to feel that normalcy. Others view it as selfish and spoiled but really, They just want To be Happy but do not know how to obtain that state without the caring and help of others who are stronger and more capable of providing.

I never dreamed that I would have some of the great things in my life that I do nor do some of the amazing things that I have, But still the Pain exists and I yearn for more of what I desire, I want to feel normal and at peace but often ask myself if peace is available, If I can feel like everyone else, survive the war that rages inside of me, and come out on Top.

The Borderline has the cards stacked up against Him/Her and often cannot see the glass even half empty, as emptiness is such a common feeling and the yearing for love but then when Love comes they want more, need to always be rescued and protected from the World and it"s cruelness.

So is there another way for the Borderline to flee from all this paina nd chaos without hurting themselves or others ? Is there a way out for them ?  I believe that there is, It is just that in the moments of utter Chaos how does the person sit down and look at the whole picture, escape the pain wihout creating more pain for them and others ? As these few moments of Devastation for the Borderline feels like an enternity and will do anything to escape the Pain.

I look at this illness as a Hurricane and the EYE OF THE STORM, As it is nearly impossible to escape the Destruction and Chaos of the storm when it is at it"s most dangerous and strongest and you are trapped within the eye of that hurricane, the most powerful part. This is how I view BPD, In my view it is the Cat. 5 Of Mental illnesses as it causes so much destruction in so many ways and really there is never much warning, even when there is it does no good and is difficult to eacape the Madness.  No other illness has such a decietful nature where it attacks talented, smart, and gifted people and causes them to abandon all that they are good at at and dreams that they have and succumb to this Powerful and Devastating Illness.  You are trapped when you are in the EYE OF BPD, There is no escape, you are controlled by it and it"s devices, you alter who you are and are unable to escape, you can get away from it by self medicating and self destructive behaviors but that is not really escape but a temporary relief of the Extreme Terror that You feel.

Like a Powerful storm BPD lasts all but a few minutes with it"s episodes But feels like an eternity and causes us to act out in ways that are very damaging, and even when not active it has "aftershocks" that are equally as devastating, in other words.. Other feelings and doubts that change who we are and make us feel lost and confused.

If we can understand who we are and what we feel then we can educate ourselves, Grow, learn our weaknesses, and Overcome.. Is it possible though to have such strength when one is in the Eye of the so Powerful Storm ?

R.C