Of course the Word Idenity is a complex one as it means so many different things.. when people think of the word Idenity they think of I.D., "Let me have your Passport sir:" or "May I see some I.D. please ?" The cashier may ask when you pay with a credit card, But What does Idenity really mean ?

To me it means knowing who you are and what you stand for, what you wnat out of Life and Who you are as a whole person, a being. It means Knowing the truth about how you feel, what you are in every possible fashion.. Who one is sexually, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.. Just to name a few. If one Does NOT know their Inner Idenity then they would be caused to act in ways that are not within their character In order to try to establish themselves in society, to understand what they are feeling and what direction they are headed in. Not knowing "Who you are " is a major reason for Individuals making mistakes and for the vast majority in Today"s Society..If people knew who they were and what they stood for then they would Not Abuse Drugs searching for something or act out Violently, Judge others, Want to Start or Fight Wars, or do any a number of things that Harm themselves and Humanity as a whole. People act out in search of who they are, In the endless search of their IDENITY and Purpose.

In my opinion It is everyone in this world searching for who they are and thus making mistakes along the way but It is far more difficult for the Borderline as they do not have the slightest idea of who they are or want to be, everyday something different pops into their head.. They ask "Maybe I want this, or this person, or to go here, there, etc. They often have trouble telling the difference between many seemingly easy and simple emotions. There ae other issues with BPD but Idenity and the search for meaning and understanding ones feelings is the Key factor in the Confusion.

For myself I always want something different, I hope from relationship to relationship thinking that One will make me happier than the last, doing such hurts many  people along the way.. I am usually happy with who I am with but when I get attention from other people, I say to myself.. " I never had anything in my younger years, so why not expiereince it all?" I often flip flop on career wants, where I wnat to live, Travel to, Eat, etc, etc, etc. I guess the only thing I do not flip flop on is the people in my life that I am not linked emotionally with and My Sports teams, Very Loyal and Firm in that way.

Idenity is very important if someone wishes to accomplish anything in Life, to go anywhere because if you do not have a core sense of who you are then how can you give yourself to the people you love or causes that you believe in? How can you do anything of substance of having any consistancy in Life if you first are Not clear on who you are in every way that a person can be defined. I do not know who I am, I admit it. I have ideas and glimpses of who I am and who I wish to be but no Core sense of who that is, I am as mixed up as a bowl of battered eggs ready to be scrambbled, But I do have Hope and want to know who I am.. I want to fight and move forward in my Life.

I think people often Use their personal struggles , Careers, and other External things to Define Who they are and what their Idenity is.. But although these things are part of who we are, they are not the core of who we are. People need a core Idenity that defines them, their soul, Ineer beliefs, Feelings, and more. A self that does not change when the High is high or Low is Low.. An Idenity to remains as Is and does not break no matter how many Rocks are thrown it"s Way.

I use my Fears, doubts, anxieties to Idenify who I am and it causes more destruction and Pain.. Who I am is not what I do nor what I go through but What I feel about Myself.. that is where the problem is I guess as The feelings are so mixed up and Never clear to me. I never know what I feel is the problem, never know if I am Happy, Sad, or Nothing.

I ask myself.. Am I my thoughts, Feelings, actions, or Creations or am I all of those and more or am I none of those.. Do I cease to exist when one or all of my feelings are absent or Confused?

I am how I Perceive myself through how I expierience the world, I am what I choose to be, I do not have control over how I feel, or sometimes think but how I allow that which I feel to affect my world that I live in.. I think anyhow. How I use my expierinces and knoweldge is how I find my Idenity.. Yes I am one thing one moment and another the next, as one feeling comes I know that soon another will replace it without warning.. This is my Reality and I have to accept this, that I have to go with the flow of the good and bad emotions and thoughst and do my best.. No today I do not know my Idenity but I know that I have one, somewhere deep down in my soul, I have a Rob that is smart, talented and creative that is waiting to come out.. I do not need all the answers and I do not need them all NOW, What I do need is Patience and the realization that My Inner "I" is my Inner soul and Idenity and if I lose any feeling or expiereince, I do not then lose myself.. I am ever growing and learning if I choose to listen to that voice within and not Give up before I find the real me, the Real Truth, and My Real Idenity that is Not Bad or great or anything but OK.

R.C