Living on the Border !!! - Update on the comings and goings in My Life- JournalHome.com

Living on the Border !!! - Update on the comings and goings in My Life- JournalHome.com Living on the Border !!!

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12/29/2007 - Update on the comings and goings in My Life

Yes, It is official. I will be going back home to see family and driends and also to get to the bottom of my medical care issues as well as get some treatment for the BPD and such. I have a good friend who is helping me do this. I guess there are people that do care for me. I just need to start caring for myself. I am just sitting here uploading pics onto my new Photo album which takes hours it seems, not not best area of Talent . I wanted to write more but guess I will write this update on Life and see If I can get in one of my prepared pieces as well.

Leo and I are doing well, I just like to get away a lot, alone time is important to me although I often smother myself with thoughts and feelings and need someone around at some point. About to watch the last Pats game tonight to see if they can Achieve History and Finish their Perfect Regular season.. Then I guess after that I will be border again.. Maybe tomorrow I can hit the beach again, would like to take Kelly with me, Leo"s Cousin, Splash around the waves some and have some fun. I felt that my trip to the beach yesterday was helpful in relaxing me and getting out of my head some. I had a difficult Night, sure I am excited that the trip will be a reality and I will get to see people and finally get some help but BPD does not take avacation just when external things begin to look up, I am still me with this horrible disease and must still deal with my feelings, whether they are my real ones or just the Chaos that resides within. I am worried, excited, and lots of other things about this trip, want to be careful in many areas so I do not have another disaster. So, where am I now, at this very moment ? I am not sure actually, It is a hot day and I want a Drink, but know that would not be good for me. I may search for a Nice cold Iced Lemonade to do the drink and have a cold shower before the Game. We have the idea of financial trouble ahead of us with the baby coming and all, plus the possibility that we may have to move because that landlord of ours will not put a gate on front door, I like the cheap rent but would be nice to feel some security and a Bigger place for the baby and my office when I decide to go to school and write.. Lots to deal with for a person who obviously does not Deal well with very much. I am here, things are somewhat looking up and I choose to do my best to Just relax, take a few deep breaths and enjoy My evening.

R.C