Feel like crap today.. mostly physically. Headache, just really Icky. I am kind of down as usual, trying to feel some affection for my Girl, but all I want to do is isolate. Saw Doctor and he said I need to reduce my stress or my heart could be in for some serious trouble. I have inflamation and clogged arteries.. I am on meds for that now and will be seeing a Psych. Doc that speaks English ( rare here ) in a few minutes to try and evaluate me and get me on proper meds if possible. Now I just have to figure out how to describe my complex emotions to this Doctor.. I am writing a  lot at home in my tablet when I am not able to get here to the Net. I am coming up with some good stuff but am still up, down, and all over the place all the time. I did not sleep well last night .. lots of panic and anxiety.. Probabally explains why I feel so shitty.  Guess that is all for Now.. will write more tomorrow when I feel better, Hopefully this Doc can help me some, I sure need it!

R.C.