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Entry 1 of 332
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1/22/2008
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Borderline this and Borderline that
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I constantly blame my BPD for all the bad and uncomfortable feelings that I go through and for the ways that I act.. I say "yeah, sorry but that was my borderline acting up again " or I say "Today I exploded like all Borderlines do " but the fact is that yes, I do have this terribly complex illness that makes my life very difficult to manage but I am also me and my disease does not have to define me.. I can work on my issues and just be myself the best that I can or know how. I think that all people who have any adversity in life have a responsibility to themselves to try to live their lives the best that they can and not just toss in towel and throw up their hands and say "oh, well what can I do ? " It is not easy being this way and it causes me much pain and discomfort, especially when nobody understands or can help when I am going through it... But I am Rob.. I have many aspects to who I am and although Being borderline is part of what I go through.. It does not have to define who I am or who I will be. I have these explosions and all the behaviors that go along with my struggle with BPD but I have the opportunity to do great things and help people.. I just have to get out of my own way and try not to use the label of the Illness as a crutch as it is often easy to do. R.C. |
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