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Entry 1 of 332
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1/22/2008
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I feel so...
I do not want to be touched, yet I crave affection I do not want to be alone , yet I seek love I fear for everything, but take impossible risks I feel so empty inside and try to fill up but Nothing works.. I crawl into a corner to hide from all that engulfs me, Yet I cannot get far enough away... I cannot escape, I feel anxious and empty as well as hopeful and excited.... Not knowing who I am or letting others inside my soul is so painful... Running smack into a brick wall everytime and not knowing how to put on the breaks... I do not want this that I feel, I do not want this that I face... I just want to start over.. I want to be a baby again or a little cat.. with no worries or responsibilities... To be left alone but held at the same time.. Please do not yell at me.. I feel so fragile when you raise your voice.. please do not leave me although I am nothing more than a little boy... I promise I will try harder to be a man... I promise I will try harder to be stronger... Oh, God.. How I do not want all of this any longer !!!! |
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