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Entry 1 of 338
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1/24/2008
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Dear Meth Monster (a.k.a. Tina)
 Dear Tina, It has been so long since our last chat and I am so grateful for that You came into my life and gave me much joy but son I would learn that You would never fill that void... still I seeked you out just one more time and you always told me that it was ok and I did not need to cry... Your promises were just lies so that you could get me to come closer to you as I slowly began to die... Now it has been 262 days since I last invited you over and yet I still, crave the feelings that your gentle touch once gave me .. I can still feel the smoke fill my lungs coming from the Pipe that you call home...I can feel the pain fade away as I learn to be happy and play.. At first everything was all rosey with you win my Life but little did I know that soon you would do anything so I would die... Why do I seek your love again when it is just a trick to draw me in.. to make me need and want you once more and in turn make me act like a male whore.. You tried to ruin me and it is amazing that I managed to get this free You gave me so much joy and hope but then took it away and said nope.. your goal is to get me to make you my world, make me use more of you to fill the void but I now know that you are the one who takes it all way and impossible to cope... Things were great when we first met but of course you stole away pieces of my soul that I may never again regain... Yes, it is you Tina that promised me so much but all that you gave me was a world of pain.. I already said goodbye once to your destructive choke hold on me and my world but yet Inside I cannot let go of you, my Girl...No one else or nothing on earth gives me the pleasure that you once did but also nothing brings me such hell as I felt there at the end...Will I open the door one more time and listen to that one more Lie..."Just one hit, " you say... I know far too well that this is what you told me everyday... So please Tina leave me alone, we had our time in heaven and in hell.. I have a different life now although sometimes boring and dull , to return to you would be last straw for everyone involved ..Please let this be goodbye my one time friend ??? R.C. |
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