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Entry 1 of 335
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1/28/2008
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Welcome to Insomnia Island
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The Insomnia is like a horror movie, I lay and twist and turn, wtach
the tube and nothing seems to cure my alertness..The racing thoughts in
my head, the anxiety, and the overwheliming worry about what is to be
the following day causes me to float in my Insomnia madness and Chaotic
Hell. I look for something to take so I may sleep and enter dream land but nothing works.. seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours and soon I feel like I have no slept for days... The depression and Borderline ways sneak in and keep me more mentally occupied.. making getting some shut eye even that more impossible..I look over at my Darling Girl as she sleeps so soundly and it makes me even more angry and distraught.. jealous of how she rests and dreams as I cannot get out of my head long enough to rest in my bed.. Sleeping time is a time that I look forward to all day as it is a release from the manic, impulsive thoughts that travel the highway through my head.. but when night does arrive all I can do is lay and hope for some rest and some distraction, although the distrating thoughts keep the wheels turning and the light inside my brain on, very brightly. Not sure if there is a cure for this Hell I live in but I know that being awake and spinning for hours each not is not it, I struggle to get the rest I need as I know if I do not feel fully replensihed each morning that I will soo break into pieces and not be able to push forward with my recovery.. being an Insomniac is Pure Pain at it"s Worst. R.C. |
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