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Entry 1 of 332
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2/1/2008
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America , here I come .
Today my last full day in Leon before I head for the states on Sunday morning.. I am excited but will miss Leo.. although I just flirted with these two girls, then another. I get so much attention here and it is hard not to act on it.. But I do love Leo..She really is sooo Good to me.. treats me well and really loves me, even when I am not my nicest. I look forward to getting some treatment for my BPD and also the medical care I so need.. Hopefully I can figure out a way to get a laptop so I really can start writing when I get back.. who knows.. Maybe there is a book in my future ?? Past few days I have been anxious but have been distracting myself with other things, worrying about other things and that takes away some of the Borderline madness.. I really have to bear down and tackle teh sober life and make sure I do not fall.. I know that the Meth Demon is waiting for me to let my guard down...Thankfully I have lots of support where I am going that can help me through any tough times I may face... When I get back it will be just about five weeks before Brady ( my son ) is Born.. Nervous and scared that I will not be up to the challenge and I guess that is another reason why this trip will be good for me, I can maybe see a therapist and process all that I am going through and hopefully get some good Meds to help me manage it all when I get back here... a place that is gtreat but leaves me feeling more isolated and aolne at times... I don"t know what else to say today except that I cannot wait to eat American Food again R.C. |
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