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Entry 1 of 335
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2/4/2008
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Back in America .
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The flights were nerve racking as I do not like to fly but I did and got through It OK, I arrived safely in Florida just in time to watch the Super Bowl, a very discouraging game as the Pats lost to the Giants.. I seem to let those things get to me as I am very passionate about my sports teams. Anyhow, I am having a great time with my friend here and adapting to American ways again... Got a new BPD book today that I think is a good one to explore my disorder further... I always try to learn more about who I am and what I am dealing with.. as I feel all people should do... I will finally get to see a medical doctor tomorrow about all that ails me and then I will see a Psych Doctor in SF next week.. I miss Leo very much as much as I often want to escape but I do miss her and our Life together down there. I have also had another problem that has been non existant for many years and that is HPPD which is a disorder I got from doing LSD back years ago.. It comes back like a Bad Trip and makes me feel like I am going nuts. It is better at the moment but does come up often and cause trouble for me when it is active.. I sure hope that it gets better as I have enough problems as it is now. I am going to relax tonight and try to get some rest again, I slept well last night desite my down mood over the Pats game.. I was so very tired after the long journey on all those flights and sucha reverse culture shock of being back in The states again. I feel right now a mood swing coming on and the smiling face I want to display is going to be more difficult to maintain as I am spinning downward in the downward spiral of my Illness. R.C. |
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