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Entry 1 of 332
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2/12/2008
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Tweak Lurks in the corner
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It has been said that there are people who can walk into your life, change it and then walk back out like "nothing happened at all". I invited tweek into my home. It affected many parts of my life, if not all of them from my BF to cleaning the house. From eating to health. And even after tweek had gone, I can still feel it working its charm elsewhere. Always there. Flirting with me. Tweek is like that lover who knows he is good sex. He KNOWS that you like him. He KNOWS his pull on you. He knows you are in love with him. And what does he like best about all this? He likes to be chased down and had....he won't come to you!! Just like tweek! So one day the tweek is gone. Unceremoniously dumped or in my case with ceremony. Your life moves on and you begin to clean away your lovers old shirts left behind the bed. Clues that got lost in a drawer. Your friends begin to ask about your boyfriend/tweek. Where is he? He will be at a party this weekend. Reminders are everywhere! Perseverance pays off. Your broken heart begins to mend and you pull it together, putting your life back together. But tweek sneaks around. It hides in corners at parties. It leaves tell tale signs in bathrooms, clubs, and parks. Tweek repeatedly and endlessly begins to hound you and show you that you aren't the only one. (But you can be!!) Tweek leaves a trail of broken hearts (I gotta get him back!) Broken lives (We can change!) and broken spirits (We will make it different this time!!). They are everywhere. All the while, tweek knows you will come back with just the slightest inhale of its aroma. My resolve is strong and tweek still continues to lose. Suddenly, without warning, into your life walks a current lover of tweek. With your current distance and resolve you can see clearly why you made a mistake. Tweek tricked you. It is dangerous! You have brought the danger into your home! Your lover knows you will come back to tweek. You share your insights with your lover...your revelations but still tweek takes him away. Even though you haven't seen the tweek or touched it, once again it is has left you a mess in your own home. I understand tweeks power to be greater then I knew. It still affects me without being in me, near me or around me. And as I gaze into this beautiful man's eyes and see the quarter size pupils and hear his halted and stuttered speech, I realize that tweek has tricked me again. Seduced me. Tried to make me come back. Tweek came into my life and changed it so much. So dramatically but left with nary a word as if nothing occurred at all. Life leaves me with painful times in soberiety and hardships that I must face on my own, but Tweak tells me that I can escape all that pains me and enjoy it"s distraction once again..I know that I must continue on the rightous path and say No to this old friend who is waiting for me, just sitting and having confidence that I will return once again for that soul medicine...I have said goodbye to this thing that supposed to love me but causes so much destruction my Life... But it lurks in the corner. |
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