These are Lyrics from the Megadeath song "A tout le monde ".. They resignate exactly how I feel and the feelings of hopelessness and fear that go through my battered soul.. Do not get me wrong, there are times that I enjoy life and have hope that things can get better but then there are times like this where the pain of living the life that I know is just too damn painful and death seems the only option.. Life is hard, and especially for those who have severe mental problems as the doorway to death seems more inviting everyday that things do not get better...

R.C.

Dont remember where I was
I realized life was a game
The more seriously I took things
The harder the rules became
I had no idea what itd cost
My life passed before my eyes
I found out how little I accomplished
All my plans denied

So as you read this know my friends
Id love to stay with you all
Please smile when you think of me
My bodys gone thats all

A tout le monde
A tout les amis
Je vous aime
Je dois partir
There are the last words
Ill ever speak
And theyll set me free

If my heart was still alive
I know it would surely break
And my memories left with you
Theres nothing more to say

Moving on is a simple thing
What it leaves behind is hard
You know the sleeping feel no more pain
And the living are scarred