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2/28/2008
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Going Nowhere
| 32 years old and going nowhere it seems. The craziness and instability of my character keeps me stuck, going in circles and not knowing what is going on in my war zone of a brain and soul. I feel like a Kid, maybe it is because I never grew up. I have nothing to call my own..Live month to month on disability, have no savings to speak of.. None of the things that I want, the things that I see others enjoying.. Have I wasted all this time doing nothing ?? Where has my life gone ?? I fear the world, fear meeting people, taking chances , and am trapped in this shell that I hope protects me from the cruel world out there. I make plans and have goals but nothing turns out the way I had hoped..I continue to go in circles making the same mistakes over and over again.. No relief in sight for me.. The dream eludes me and I remain trapped in this soul that has no chance of making it.. Life indeed feels hopeless most of the time.. I want to succeed and be happy but feel powerless to do so..Still just a kid, a kid with no future it seems. |
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