Living on the Border !!!
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3/2/2008
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Dealing with my World a day at a time.
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Got up late today as I seemed very tired..of course the meds I am on do make me more so. I have had some nice talks with my friend today..stuff that really makes me think. I then went out for a short drive and got a sub from subway and now will just relax and enjoy that sub. How do I feel today?? I guess OK right now, but we do know how that can change. There is a part of me that just wants to sleep and bury myself under the covers and not deal with the world or any of my feelings but I know that is not productive. The reality of my son"s death is hitting me harder each day..and then of course there are the feelings of nothingness that I feel from my dopamine being all messed up from all the Meth I smoked..it gets to the point where you cannot feel pleasure from anything and the only thing that will make you feel OK is more of the drug..Such a destructive cycle. So, I feel kind of "blah" but am trying to deal with it all the best that I can..That is all any of us can do I suppose. |
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