Living on the Border !!!
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3/5/2008
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Tornado of Chaos just hit me.
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Just laying here on my laptop getting ready for dinner and Bam it hits me out of nowhere , I feel this sense of losing touch with reality, a sense of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair. I feel stuck and trapped by all of these painful emotions that paralyze me. I want to help my friend cook and want to be active in my life but feel powerless to do so and cannot get out of this dark spot...I feel filled with anxiety and in so much emotional pain right now.. I just want to hide under the blankets and not deal with the world. This is all way too intense. I want to scream so loud and escape these feelings, How do I get away from all of this ?? I cannot tell anyone because they do not understand. They think that I am lazy and do no want to do anything but it is my BPD that keeps me stuck and won"t let go. Oh, how I wish God would just take away this agony and despair.. This is so very hard. |
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