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Entry 1 of 336
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3/6/2008
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Good day, Sad bedtime thoughts.
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Today I had a good day, My friend and I went to the Aquarium and it was nice to wander around looking at the fish and taking some photos. Then we had a nice lunch nearby at a place where I used to get so drunk in the height of my drinking days. We had some nice talks tonight and I packed my stuff to get ready to go home on Saturday, which did make me sad. I have enjoyed spending time with him . So, now here we are again..Just me, myself , and I to sit with and think about what has been, what is now, and what will be in the future. I am scared of the emotions that will come up when I leave and get home to see that there is no baby going to be born and how I will deal with that along with all my other normal Borderline ways.. and other complex feelings. I don"t know what I feel right now..sadness, Confusion, and maybe a bit of Hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe I do have a chance among all that is wrong with me to make something out of this life and find true happiness. I have quite a few people that love me even when I don"t. Like they say in AA, Let us love you until you can love yourself. That is what I am doing, doing my best with what I"ve got.
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