Living on the Border !!!
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3/9/2008
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Returning Home
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Got back here yesterday and saw Leo. It was very good to see her but felt a bit odd for some reason, almost like I was seeing her for the first time ever. I also felt what I imagined I would feel when I saw her no longer pregnant belly and how she was dealing with the whole ordeal of Brady dying and all.. She cried on my shoulder holding onto me like some sort of stuffed animal that I child holds onto for comfort when they are alone and scared. We then came here to her brother“s place and spent the night. So weird being back here in The 3rd world after being away for what feels longer than it was , I am not quite sure how it feels but it feels different for sure. We are going home to our house today and will see if I can adjust to life here again. There is so much to deal with , dealing with my BPD and other issues without the care of a doctor or therapist, dealing with trying to stay clean and sober without a program of reliable meetings to attend, and of course the pain of losing my son and all that goes with that, As well as all the other stuff that people have to deal with in daily living. I guess I will have to take it a day at a time and do my very best and we will see what that does for me. |
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