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3/10/2008
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Bedtime Thoughts
| As I get ready to go to sleep in my own bed for the first time in over a month I have several thoughts going through my racetrack of a mind that I gotta get on paper so to speak. I am laying next to Leo (my partner) and feel sort of disconnected from her and my surroundings, I imagine that will change after I get more settled in here at home again. We will be moving to a new place soon and hopefully that will help with all the left over memories of her being pregnant here which is difficult for us both. I am still trying to adjust to everything, and a real challenge for me is to deal with all of this and stay sober at the same time, Not easy at all for me as I do not do good with dealing with emotions and usually self medicate over them. Tomorrow I am not sure what I will do but I hope to have a relaxing day and get some stuff done like finding a new place to live, paying some bills, and going to check the mail..Stuff that went undone as I was away on vacation. It is so good to have a computer at home now so I can just write my thoughts whenever they float through my mind. I hate not being able to sleep, I do not want to take my medications either as they make me even more tired the next day but may have to. I have so many thoughts that are always running through my mind it is no wonder I cannot sleep but that is just the way that it is and that is the reality of my life right now. Hopefully I can get some shut eye and tomorrow I can deal with whatever comes my way. |
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