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Entry 1 of 336
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3/12/2008
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Cafe Reflections.
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Sitting here in the cafe eating a not very good pastry and drinking a Coke trying to catch up on all of my online activities as limited Internet access at Home as I have stated before. That will change soon as we are moving into our new place that we found yesterday. It is big with a backyard that I can maybe get a puppy to run around in. That will be nice, It is very cheap too which will sure help giving my financial situation is not all that good. I honestly am not quite sure how I am doing emotionally right now. I am just going through my days and doing the day to day so called normal activities, not too sad and not too happy. Not knowing where I am at inside makes me feel uneasy I guess, I always need answers and when I am not sure what the answer is that causes more questions to arise. I know , I am a complicated cat. Leo is out with her friend so this is reflection time for me although I am not sure what to reflect on. Someone on one of the BPD chatrooms I go to said to me that BPD is not real and it is normal to feel the way that so called Borderlines do..I did not take well to that but I guess that person is in denial of their illness. I know what I am even though I do not know who I am. I know that what I feel is not normal and that I have problems , I just do not know how to solve them. So, that is where I am at today..sitting here with all these people looking at me like I am an alien or something..When all I am is just another silly Gringo on his Laptop with the funny Apple symbol.
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