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3/14/2008
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Interacting with the Borderline
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I do not envy anyone that has to deal with us Borderlines. We are a difficult bunch but I firmly believe that it is not our fault. We were born this way or learned it along the way, not really sure although there are many theories out there. When interacting with someone who suffers from BPD it is important to keep certain things in mind. One thing to remember is to speak with the Borderline with care and in a gentle, soft manner. Do not yell or cause the person to feel like they are bad or did something wrong, they already most times feel this way to begin with. It is important to remember that Borderlines just like Drug addicts and Alcoholics suffer from a condition that has scientific and medical causes , You would not yell at a diabetic or someone with Cancer for symptoms of their Illness so the same is true here. Another point to remember is that there are certain words one must either never say to the Borderline or say with extreme caution and care. A few of those that come to mind are No, bad, stupid, fault, always, never, idiot, and Loser or any word that implicates the individual as doing something wrong or shows immediate rejection. These individuals are very sensitive to any kind of rejection or criticism and using these words among others can hurt the individual as well as others who relate to him or her. Another thing relating to using language is how you talk with the Borderline, as in what tone you use. I know for myself tone is very important and if someone says a word or statement in a way I perceive as sarcastic or mean then it is likely to set off some sort of painful emotion within me. Now while I say to be careful in the words you use and how you interact with the Borderline I also understand the importance of not doing anything to enable BPD behaviors as I do not believe that is healthy at all although When others enable me I do not stop them as I do not know how to stop my behaviors once they are set in motion. However as with addicts I feel that if someone allows the Borderline to continue with their behaviors and ways without placing some sort of consequence ( How I dislike that word ) down then it is harmful to the person as They stay stuck in the same cycle of repeating behaviors that cause themselves and others harm and pain. Another thing to point out is that when dealing with a Borderline in a situation where work is being done one must be careful not to pressure the person or cause them to feel crowded and like they are in a Pass/Fail type of situation as that often can cause panic and rage can result from that stress. These are just a few of the ways that I have learned that I act and how just a little bit of gentle care and thinking can help to ease the pain of social interactions where I would not feel so cornered. Keep in mind that this is only my opinion as one person with BPD and how I relate my disease to how I interact and relate to Non Borderlines. All people with BPD are different and may react differently to these type of situations , although the symptoms are sometimes the same, Often the individual reacts differently based on their own individuality.
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