Living on the Border !!!
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3/15/2008
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I wanna do something to escape this feeling...
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I did make up with Leo. It is not her fault that there is no Internet access at our new house. Hopefully there is another company as I need it at home, with all of my writing and the self help groups I am a part of it is vital for me. After I made up with her we went to her little cousin"s Bday party and it was nice. Before hand this other American who lives here bugged me, he always wants money and is always drunk. I would help him if I could but I cannot. I feel like I want to save the world but that is not possible as I often cannot even save myself. I still feel down and depressed, cannot seem to make it go away but I just petted and fed this homeless dog who comes by everyday, that makes me feel better. The anger from earlier is gone but the sadness and emptiness remains. I want to cut, drink, or do something to escape it but I am stuck with these feelings and if I act out then they will just return later. I never seem to know how to cope in healthy ways, I wish I could help people with this blog but instead I am seeking help from writing on it and just some peace to come my way. |
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