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3/20/2008 - Surprise Party

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I had a good Birthday yesterday as Leo surprised me with a party at home with her friends and family. It was nice knowing that people do care and it was the first surprise Party that I had in 15 years . The little kids that love me so much were playing and such but the little one who is three wore me out, she kept trying to touch my computers and it drove me bonkers. It was a nice Birthday though. It was only the second time in fifteen years that I was clean and sober on my birthday , Amazing as that is it is true. Today I hope to find out that I can get DSL Internet access at home because not having access at my house really stresses me out as it hinders my writing and other work. So, Today I hope to handle my emotions and have a good day but as you know, you never know how I will feel from one minute to the next. That is the challenge. Today I am up and down, was real depressed and did not want to get out of bed, this Internet access problem is so frustrating but I am dealing with it the best I can, it is after all out of my control. I feel angry and sad but have some moments of being OK and happy. I am just sitting here writing and found a place where I get a good connection, it is this little Smoothie shop that is owned by Americans and it looks out over the street, so that is nice. Just taking the day minute by minute and hopefully things do fall into place.

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