Did not post yesterday, have many entries saved on laptop but unable to get online with it. I feel down and sad and the moods go up and down faster than I can keep up, I broke up with Wife. Gf, whatever she is and then went back and left and went back, I have been cutting a lot but now trying the ice cube method , I do not wnat to die but never sure if I wnat to live. You know life is hard when you wonder if you would be betetr off in a  wooden box than in a cozy apartment. Still many frustratring problems here, but at least I have money for another month. There is a song I like and there are two statements in lyrics that hit me .

Nothing changes, unless I do !

The wounds NEVER heal !